IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You want to volunteer to help the old people of your community.An organisation in your area works for the benefit of old people.Write a letter to the in-charge of that organisation explaining Why do you want to help How can you help them

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 letter to express my willingness to work as a volunteer in your organisation which is working for the welfare of older people. Sir, I am working as an assistant professor of Sociology in a college
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 our hometown, which involves teaching students
on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
how to serve
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
society.In order to teach the students about
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
humanity, I personally want to set a good example in front of them so that they can take inspiration from me and
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, indulge themselves in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
social work. Let me explain in detail.As we all know, today we are living in a greying community where the elderly population is growing at an exorbitant rate.These elderly people are living in an isolation so I would like to spend some time with them in order to add immense pleasure
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 their life. I would be highly grateful if I will get an opportunity to work for you.I will be available anytime during the weekends.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I remain busy from Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm,
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 on these
days
Add a comma
,days

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase hence on these days. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
 I would prefer to have evening hours. Hoping to hear from you soon.
Yours'
Correct your spelling
Yours

The word Yours' doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
 faithfully,
Jashanpreet
Correct your spelling
Jaspreet

The word Jashanpreet is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

Kaur

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: