It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schoolchildren #history #world

Every single

person

have

Suggestion

has

to know their

history

. Some people believe teaching

world

history

in the school is important for

schoolchildren but

Accept comma addition

schoolchildren, but

school children but

some people think learning their own

history

is more crucial than

world

history

. I strongly believe every single

person

have

Suggestion

has

to know their

history

as well as

world

history

This

essay will discuss both ideas.

Generally

Suggestion

General

History

is thought very difficult and boring subject by

schoolchildren

Suggestion

school children

However

, it is

started

Suggestion

starting

to establish

based

Suggestion

bases

of nationalism and love of country for a citizen. Schools should be encouraged to teach Local

history

subject actively by using government facilities that provide departments of government.

For instance

, there should be some activities to become

history

classes more enjoyable for students.

Therefore every

Accept comma addition

Therefore, every

single citizen

have

Suggestion

has

to learn profoundly and

understant

know and comprehend the nature or meaning of

understand

their ancient their

Suggestion

their ancient

history

as a civic responsibility.

On the other hand

, knowing

world

Suggestion

the world history

history

helps people to create their personality. Because, as a general culture, having information about

world

history

provides more conscious

life

, wisdom and confident in their social

life

Moreover

person

Suggestion

a person

people

can gain a

comporison

the act of examining resemblances

comparison

and interpretation ability to historical backgrounds of nations.

Therefore

, it provides a wise perspective to

life

.Human is the social being by

nature

Accept comma addition

nature, thus

thus

, everyone

need

Suggestion

needs

to learn

history

to share

life

and understand ancients. To sum up learning

history

is essential for human being both local and

world

history

Therefore

, to become a good citizen need to learn deeply their own

history

and

then

to become a wise

person

need

Suggestion

needs

to learn

world

history

Tue Apr 14 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

heritage
cultural identity
ancestry
traditions
globalization
empathy
contemporary issues
integrate
perspective
civilization
diversity
innovations
historical significance
nationalism
cosmopolitanism
historiography
geopolitical

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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people think that the behaviour of professional sportsmen/sportswomen on or off the field is not important as long as they are good players.To what extent do you agree or disagree with it ?

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. dinosaur, dodos …). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that entering the workplace after school is far more beneficial than studying at university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The use of mobile phones by students during school has become increasingly common. What are the advantages and disadvantages of allowing students to use mobile phones in schools?