The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with health issue involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent you agree or dis agree?

contemporary era, obesity is the most controversial topic in the
health care
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setting as it indulges with a plethora of health-related issues. It is believed by a few individuals that a great way to deal with
issue is to introduce immanence physical
in the
, in my opinion, I
am completely agree
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completely agree
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with the former statement for the
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reasons. To commence with, Introducing compulsory PE classes in the
helps students to be active in physical activities and which helps them to strengthen their physical abilities.
, it encourages children to be more active in sports and
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exercise, which indirectly keeps them away from
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sedentary lifestyle.
For instance
, students spend a lot of their time sitting when they study, watching movies and playing video games. Particularly, the addition of physical
lessons will allow them to remain fit and sturdy.
, being forced into physical activity in
will help young children
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develop consistency in their lives to remain healthy and active.
In addition
, exercise secrete happy hormones
as dopamine which helps the youngsters to remain stress-free and disease-free.
, physical activity helps in a child's developmental , cognitive and behavioural growth towards society. Other additional classes
as yoga and gymnastics in
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the student's
health perspective. In conclusion, I believe that the introduction of more physical
has a copious benefit for students, which is the best way for them to stay away from the overweight problem. We should always make a strong case for the value of physical
in schooling programs in order to increase the amount of time kids spend working out.
Submitted by joshiami7570 on

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Task Response
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines your stance on the topic and briefly mentions the points that will be discussed. This sets a clear path for your essay.
Task Response
Develop each main point with specific examples or evidence. While you have discussed beneficial aspects of physical education, adding real-life examples or citing studies would strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make use of a range of cohesive devices and transition words to link ideas more seamlessly. While your essay has a good structure, employing a wider variety of linking words can enhance flow and clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although your essay is well-structured, pay attention to mixing longer and shorter sentences to create a more engaging rhythm in your writing.
Task Response
Revise your conclusion to not only summarize your points but also re-emphasize your stance in a memorable way, reinforcing the impact of your argument.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • strain on the health care system
  • introduce
  • physical education
  • curriculum
  • overweight
  • nutrition
  • balanced diet
  • obesity-related diseases
  • genetic factors
  • socioeconomic status
  • reevaluation
  • academic priorities
  • holistic approach
  • public health policies
  • community support
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