some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region.Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life.

#believe #people #interest #culture #country #region #life

Tradional

Suggestion

Traditional

cultures

such

a ritual, festive event, tales are still popular nowadays, but not as they were in the past. Some traditional cultures are no longer suitable for modern time, they are still important to preserve a traditional way of life. On the one hand, people

are appealed

Suggestion

are appealing

internet

Suggestion

the internet

and modern things rather than to traditional culture are out of

data

the specified day of the month

date

and inappropriate.

For example

Accept space

CHinese

a native or inhabitant of Communist China or of Nationalist China

Chinese

people often go to Temple to wish for good luck on

special day

Suggestion

the special day

special days

a special day

young

(used of living things especially persons) in an early period of life or development or growth

Young

people think these kinds of activities are too

superstition

Suggestion

superstitious

and have no scientific base.Some traditional cultures are considered not worth maintaining.

On the other hand

, we need

consider

Suggestion

to consider

the importance of culture.It is a special thing, what

make

Suggestion

makes

the the

definite article

the

country

different

Suggestion

differs

from the others.No regions or nations have the same traditional cultures.Tradition is passed down through generation it affects how we live, it makes us different, it makes our soul.

Moreover

, it would create a society consisting of empathetic people and strongly bonded relationships. All in all, In my opinion, while some cultures not longer proper, it is determinative to preserve our traditional way of life.

Suggestion

adopt other cultures and

diverse our own

Suggestion

diverse as our own

tradition.

Wed Apr 15 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

196 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region.Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You have ordered a product on a website and received a different product. Write a letter the company. Write a letter

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Young people should seek the guidance of older individuals rather than younger ones. Whether you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?