Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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While it is said that some people need more time to tackle the
problem
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of some kinds of plants and animals, other people insist that there are more vital environmental issues.
However
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, I would contend that the rest of the plants and animals
issue
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is more urgent
problem
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for us.
To begin
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with, it is convincing that
loss
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of the number of some
species
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of plants and animals can be the main
problem
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in the environment by some people.
Firstly
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, the
loss
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phenomenon can break
food chain
Suggestion
the food chain
in
environment
Suggestion
the environment
.
In other words
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, if some
species
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of plants and animals disappear, the other
species
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will lose their feed.
Thus
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, the impacted
species
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can trigger
food lack
Accept comma addition
food, lack
issue
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through the
loss
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of
whole number
Suggestion
the whole number
of
species
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.
However
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, the other people said that the rest of plants and animals
issue
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is more serious
problem
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.
First
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of all, the lack of
water
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could be the main concern via decreasing
water
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level and uncleaned
water
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on some continents.
Consequently
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, dropping the
water
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level may cause the death of numerous fishes with harming their habitats.
Furthermore
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,
natural resource wasting
Suggestion
the natural resource wasting problem
a natural resource wasting problem
natural resource wasting problems
problem
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also
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can
influences
Suggestion
influence
to many parts
in
Suggestion
of
the forest.
This
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is because several natural resources
such
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as coal, gas are essential elements to make living in human life. In conclusion, even though some people think
loss
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of some
species
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of plants and animals is more important agenda, it is clear that the other problems are more urgent
issue
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in environmental problems. [출처] [IELTS Writing] 에세이 무료첨삭 부탁드립니다. - 에세이 (아독사★아이엘츠,IELTS,이민,호주,유학,영국,어학연수,해외취업) |작성자 샤인피플
Submitted by davidjeong90 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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