Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While it is said that some people need more time to tackle the

problem

of some kinds of plants and animals, other people insist that there are more vital environmental issues.

However

, I would contend that the rest of the plants and animals

issue

is more urgent

problem

for us.

To begin

with, it is convincing that

loss

of the number of some

species

of plants and animals can be the main

problem

in the environment by some people.

Firstly

, the

loss

phenomenon can break

food chain

Suggestion

the food chain

in

environment

Suggestion

the environment

.

In other words

, if some

species

of plants and animals disappear, the other

species

will lose their feed.

Thus

, the impacted

species

can trigger

food lack

Accept comma addition

food, lack

issue

through the

loss

of

whole number

Suggestion

the whole number

of

species

.

However

, the other people said that the rest of plants and animals

issue

is more serious

problem

.

First

of all, the lack of

water

could be the main concern via decreasing

water

level and uncleaned

water

on some continents.

Consequently

, dropping the

water

level may cause the death of numerous fishes with harming their habitats.

Furthermore

,

natural resource wasting

Suggestion

the natural resource wasting problem

a natural resource wasting problem

natural resource wasting problems

problem

also

can

influences

Suggestion

influence

to many parts

in

Suggestion

of

the forest.

This

is because several natural resources

such

as coal, gas are essential elements to make living in human life. In conclusion, even though some people think

loss

of some

species

of plants and animals is more important agenda, it is clear that the other problems are more urgent

issue

in environmental problems. [출처] [IELTS Writing] 에세이 무료첨삭 부탁드립니다. - 에세이 (아독사★아이엘츠,IELTS,이민,호주,유학,영국,어학연수,해외취업) |작성자 샤인피플