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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals, of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals, of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
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The charts below show the ratio of food used by Americans daily. It is plainly visible that most unhealthy nutrients are taken usually at dinner or snacks.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 closer look at the details reveals that over
two fifths
Add a hyphen
two-fifths
show examples
 of the ratio of sodium are used during
evening
Correct article usage
the evening
show examples
 time. The added sugar consumed in snacks
nearly
Add a missing verb
is nearly
show examples
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the same percentage as the sodium is
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
slightly more than 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the saturated fat accepted by the majority as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant threat to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health is slightly above
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
two fifths
Add a hyphen
two-fifths
show examples
 at evening meals. Turning to the least rate of the mentioned elements, there is clear evidence that they are
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 at breakfast time is approximately at the same level fluctuating around a quarter. Consumers use
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
snacks
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 sodium and
more
Correct quantifier usage
most
show examples
 sugar. Concluding the information given in the charts, the data highlight that meals with risky elements,
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
taken during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dinner time
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a big threat to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nutrients
  • Unhealthy
  • Daily intake
  • Percentage
  • Carbohydrates
  • Fats
  • Proteins
  • Meals
  • Balanced diet
  • Consumption
  • Excess
  • Health implications
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • Convenience foods
  • Fast foods
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Healthy eating habits
  • Dietary recommendations
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