IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #technology
Technology has revolutionised the whole globe. Supporters believe that it has an enormous positive impact on the community interaction methods.In contrary,
o
Accept space
,
thers share a distinct nation.They suggest that modern technical devices seriously damage peoples' relationships.I advocate that it failed to provide a real physical connection. On the one hand, technology outbreak recently enhanced our community significantly, in several cubical requirements,
for instance
 travailing,
e
Accept space
,
ducation and the most important approach which is communication.Generally, we can keep in touch with friends and family members anywhere and anytime.
In particular
, expats and international students, which are forced to leave their home.Several smart phone applications offer reasonable, convenient phone and video calls
.
Accept space
.
Hence
, strengthen family bonding and avoid sever psychological illness
,
Accept space
,
recent researches in University of Nottingham state that about 80% of the foreign student are able to call their relatives daily.
On the other hand
, applied sciences innovation has altered the society negatively.A considerable percentage of teenagers tend to spend their leisure time playing by play-station and similar gadgets rather
t
hen
conjunction used in comparatives
than
outdoor interaction.
Consequently
 sever isolation that causes physical and psychological issues.Obesity is one of the most common health problems that deter the population.Doctors state that the potential of mental illness among minor resulting from social isolation predicted to continue until
n
ext generation.
Suggestion
the next generation
Finally
,
Accept space
,
even though the massive benefits of the technology on communication field, still the absence of deep physical activities is a major drawback. To conclude, several new devices are famous world wide assisting us to contact and socialise,
h
owever it
Accept comma addition
however, it
doesn't motivate minors to live in the real world
,e
Accept space
,
ventually create significant gab among the society.
Submitted by razanahmed076 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
What to do next:
Look at other essays: