Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation has more advantages or more disadvantages

An overwhelming number of people
work
for long
hours which
Accept comma addition
hours, which
leaves them with very little
time
for recreational activities. In my opinion,
this
has lots of drawbacks when compared to any minor benefits it might bring. Admittedly, if people
work
for long hours, it helps in their career progression as well as job prospects.
In other words
, since we have fierce competition in the job market, hardworking is inevitable for one to rise through
ranks
Suggestion
the ranks
. Another point to consider is that working hard aids in the acquisition of desired skill which is required for a person to prove themselves to be an asset to the company.
Therefore
, hard working employees are offered not only incentives
such
as travel
allowance but
Accept comma addition
allowance, but
also
fringe benefits like housing allowance and free medical insurance. Despite the advantages mentioned above, I believe that
instead
of allocating some
time
for leisure activities if a person works for
prolonged
Suggestion
a prolonged time
time
, it affects them negatively.
Firstly
, constant
work
can result in burnout and affect our mental wellbeing. It is undeniable that people need to unwind from stress to become more productive.
Secondly
, people can turn their hobbies into useful skills.
For instance
, some interests
such
as photography or art offer a creative outlet.
Finally
, working hard will affect a person’s
work
/life balance and,
therefore
, blur the boundaries between personal and professional life. People would find it difficult to wind down at home as they
work
so hard. In conclusion, owing to the fact that recreational activities as well as free
time
are of paramount importance in a person’s life, negative impacts of people working hard for
long
Suggestion
a long time
time
far outweighs any of the benefits it might bring.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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