Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation has more advantages or more disadvantages

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
An overwhelming number of people
work
Use synonyms
for long
hours which
Accept comma addition
hours, which
leaves them with very little
time
Use synonyms
for recreational activities. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
has lots of drawbacks when compared to any minor benefits it might bring. Admittedly, if people
work
Use synonyms
for long hours, it helps in their career progression as well as job prospects.
In other words
Linking Words
, since we have fierce competition in the job market, hardworking is inevitable for one to rise through
ranks
Suggestion
the ranks
. Another point to consider is that working hard aids in the acquisition of desired skill which is required for a person to prove themselves to be an asset to the company.
Therefore
Linking Words
, hard working employees are offered not only incentives
such
Linking Words
as travel
allowance but
Accept comma addition
allowance, but
also
Linking Words
fringe benefits like housing allowance and free medical insurance. Despite the advantages mentioned above, I believe that
instead
Linking Words
of allocating some
time
Use synonyms
for leisure activities if a person works for
prolonged
Suggestion
a prolonged time
time
Use synonyms
, it affects them negatively.
Firstly
Linking Words
, constant
work
Use synonyms
can result in burnout and affect our mental wellbeing. It is undeniable that people need to unwind from stress to become more productive.
Secondly
Linking Words
, people can turn their hobbies into useful skills.
For instance
Linking Words
, some interests
such
Linking Words
as photography or art offer a creative outlet.
Finally
Linking Words
, working hard will affect a person’s
work
Use synonyms
/life balance and,
therefore
Linking Words
, blur the boundaries between personal and professional life. People would find it difficult to wind down at home as they
work
Use synonyms
so hard. In conclusion, owing to the fact that recreational activities as well as free
time
Use synonyms
are of paramount importance in a person’s life, negative impacts of people working hard for
long
Suggestion
a long time
time
Use synonyms
far outweighs any of the benefits it might bring.
Submitted by davidjeong90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: