IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that companies should provide employees with exercise time during the day.What is your opinion about this?

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Some people believe that the companies or employers should spend money and time on employees'
exercise
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 during
work
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 but some people disagree with that.
This
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 essay will take on the positive aspects
this
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exercise
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 can have and
also
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 the negative effects on companies.
However
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, the positive aspects seem to more than the negative impacts. Evidence suggests people during the
work
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 need energy and a positive mind so, if companies need to qualify works, they should attend to the employees. After a couple of hours, employees are tired or their bodies need some rest.
Exercise
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 is the best way to keep employees in a higher level of energy. Especially, a group of exercises is better. It can improve their
health
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. So employees can back to the
work
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 and do qualify works or produce high-level products with a positive mind that they can invite or improve products.
This
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 way needs a little money and time, but the conclusion is very big and good for both employees and companies.
However
Linking Words
, some people disagree with that opinion. They think
exercise
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 can waste time and if people attend to their
health
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, they should move or
exercise
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 in out of
work
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. They believe the
product
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 of the companies are more important than
health
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 participants or qualify the
product
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. The best way is employees
exercise
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 in out of the
work
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 and just working during the day. Summary, considering the points discussed above,
exercise
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 can help both the employer and employees. Because companies need to qualify the
product
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 so
health
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 employees can
product
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 that.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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