In some countries people’s weight has significantly increased while their levels of health have decreased. What do you think may be the causes of this problem and what solutions can you suggest solving them?

#countries #people’s #weight #levels #health

In today's world, obesity has become

huge

Suggestion

a huge health concern

health

concern, with people of some countries having put on a lot of

weight

along with reduced

level

Suggestion

levels

fitness

This

essay would discuss the causes of these

health

risk namely

Suggestion

risks, namely

risks namely

; sedentary

life style

a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes

lifestyle

and extensive consumption of fast foods, and elaborate on solutions

such

as introduction of

fitness

break in

work place

Suggestion

the work place

and promotion of healthy foods using advertisement to tackle the same.

Majority

Suggestion

The majority

of the employed sector

have

Suggestion

has

to sit continuously, for hours, in front of their workstations,

for instance

the Software Developers.

This

sedentary lifestyle causes numerous

health

problems like arched back, shoulder pain and

weight

gain as the body is deprived of any physical

activity

. The World

Health

Council conducted a survey amongst the top IT firms and stated that nearly 35% of their staff suffered from some sort of ailment resulting due to lack of physical movement.

Also people

Accept comma addition

Also, people

nowadays eat a lot of fast food on the way to

office

Suggestion

the office

or after office hours as it is very much convenient. These fast foods contain a lot of unsaturated fats and bad

cholesterol which

Accept comma addition

cholesterol, which

are unhealthy apparently leads to gaining

weight

As a result

, the sedentary working style coupled with consumption of unhealthy diet has caused many to gain

weight

to unhealthy levels.

Nevertheless

such

problems are reversible and individuals can

live n

Suggestion

live in

liven

live and

live an

active lifestyle

Suggestion

an active lifestyle

if they boycott unhealthy junk food and perform some exercises. A way to increase the level of

activity

in office goers, is to introduce

fitness

breaks in work places, during which every employee must perform some sort of physical

activity

. According to Indian Doctor's Association, 30 minutes of physical

activity

five days a week is the minimum requirement for adults to stay healthy. Another way to make

citizens

Suggestion

citizens'

health

is to promote healthy food lifestyle. Governments and even NGOs can run campaigns and advertisement stating the benefits of eating healthy and promoting different easy-to-make diets which would help them reach their

fitness

goals. All in all,

this

essay discussed the probable reasons for the significant rise in people's

weight

and their reduced level of

health

. Causes

such

change

Suggestion

changes

a change

life style

a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes

lifestyle

and excessive consumption of junk foods are at the forefront. The essay

also shed

Suggestion

also sheds

light on possible solutions like introducing

fitness break

Suggestion

a fitness break

offices

Suggestion

the offices

and promotion of

healthy diet

Suggestion

a healthy diet

Suggestion

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

404 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries people’s weight has significantly increased while their levels of health have decreased. What do you think may be the causes of this problem and what solutions can you suggest solving them?

Fully explain your ideas

A poor infrastructure hinders under developed countries from progressing and modernizing. Some people think this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. To what extent do you agree?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

Fast food is becoming pert of life everywhere, negatively affecting our lifestyles and diets. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A number of tertiary courses require students to undertake a period of unpaid work at art institution or organization as part of their programme. What are the advantages and disadvantages .