IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Countries with long average working hours are economically more successful than those countries which do not work long hours. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #hours #work
In the modern era of society, labour force gradually claims their rights including suitable working
time
.
Although
 some people believe that lengthening the duration of hours per employee is a principal method to boost productivity, I strongly support there are better ways.
To begin
 with, working overtime is a deterrent against constant improvements in efficiency in the workplace without long-term stability. In fact,
this
 measure can live up to business aspiration immediately, which is regarded as a strategy by companies.
However
, looking over the whole evolutionary process, I judge adverse impacts on health and well-being of workers. The more
time
 they dedicate to running at work, the more fatigue, stress and depression they suffer.
Accordingly
, their performance is worse than they did step-by-step. After a long period of
time
, the rate of sick leave is likely to increase and that means the key of production is not on-going any longer.
Thus
, the tendency to abusing manpower bring about an expensive cost that hold back the economic success employers expect.
On the other hand
,
this
 issue can be coped with by more than one solution thanks to the development of technology nowadays. Technological innovation, which has become a major source of competitive advantage and wealth creation, has helped to automate goods production, facilitated communication and expanded network among firms.
For example
, a technical cooperation between two giant corporations gave birth to a perfect Vinfast car made of machine parts of Vingroup and plastic cover ones of AnPhat Holdings.
This
 association helps develop the rate of interests of enterprises, create more job opportunities for employees and lighten work schedules per person. In conclusion, a long average working
time
 is not an optimal way to gain more financial benefit as well as permanent business value, but modern technique is a potential probability I believe.
Submitted by lhmaik207 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: