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Band 5.5

Money cannot buy you happiness. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #happiness
Achieving
happiness
 has always been one of the priorities of humankind. In
this
 regard, while I believe that
money
 has a role to play in making a person happy, I think that the true source of
happiness
 lies in relationships and
health
. It is true that meeting our basic necessities is impossible if we do not have enough
money
. On a daily basis, people need to go to grocery stores, buy services, pay transportation fares – all of which are made through financial means. Shortcomings in at least one of the abov
ementioned mak
Suggestion
above mentioned
e them feel dissatisfied.
Moreover
, people’s never-ending materialistic needs,
such
 as desire to drive a brand new car or live in a luxurious apartment in downtown, are factors that are attributed to
happiness
 and fulfilled with
money
.
However
, I would argue that
health
 and relationships are two inextricable and more
important ele
Suggestion
most important
ments in life that are cores of
happiness
. Sound
health
 a person has is probably the most valuable asset; with which he/she can lead a happy life. To illustrate, for the one who is suffering from a debilitating illness, say, cancer, nothing can help but family’s support and care. Another clear example on w
hy
Suggestion
of
money
’s role is minimal in
happiness
 can be millionaires, including Steve Jobs
who has
Accept comma addition
Jobs, who
 died from cancer; having accumulated wealth throughout their lives, they put litt
le emp
Suggestion
less
hasis on
health
 as well as relationships. In conclusion,
although
 in satisfying our basic needs
money
 can play its part, I believe that
health
 and relationships are crucial components of
happiness
 in life that
money
 cannot buy.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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