The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

#amount #time #sport #exercise #schools #children

In my opinion,

Sports

and exercise should be the main factor for our

children

to maintain their fitness.

Schools

should not only be responsible for our

children

's mental state and growth

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

for keeping our

children

's physical health under check. Obesity has become

such

a huge issue in our world that every third person is suffering from obesity,

not to mention

the diseases that

comes

Change the verb form

come

show examples

with it,

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

type 1 and type 2 Diabetes, Heart risks, cancer and so on. In our culture,

Schools

have just become a place where we think students should gain A* in every academic subject and think of physical education as a secondary element.

This

thinking is just plain wrong and we need to take some harsh so that we can easily overcome

this

issue. Teaching

children

about their physical condition and how to maintain a healthy lifestyle is pretty important in my opinion

this

should start in

schools

Schools

should conduct special assemblies to teach the younger students about the importance of exercise and

sports

Schools

could

also

organize different events

in-

Correct your spelling

show examples

order to encourage the students to play different

sports

and so on. But in my opinion, only increasing the time spent on

sports

schools

to solve

this

problem isn't enough. We need to do more in order to fully take control of

this

growing situation. First of all, we can easily join hands with parents and show them that just by increasing an hour of outdoor activities can drastically

increases

Change the verb form

increase

show examples

their child's physical condition. Obesity is growing like a cancer in our world, taking hold of everything,

rotting

Correct word choice

and rotting

show examples

away the beauty of

this

world.

This

is a serious issue and we need to tackle it as soon and as severely as possible.

Submitted by bhullarkamal23 on Fri Apr 17 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

Include an introduction and conclusion

News editor decide what to to broadcast on television and what to print in newspaper. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we bacame used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?

some people argue that spending a lot on celebrations, such as weddings or birthdays, is a waste of money. Others think it is important for people and society. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In same cities, governments have tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they impose tax during rush hour. Do you think this development is positive or negative?

Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?