The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

In my opinion,
Sports
and exercise should be the main factor for our
children
to maintain their fitness.
Schools
should not only be responsible for our
children
's mental state and growth
,
Remove the comma
apply
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but
also
for keeping our
children
's physical health under check. Obesity has become
such
a huge issue in our world that every third person is suffering from obesity,
not to mention
the diseases that
comes
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come
show examples
with it,
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
type 1 and type 2 Diabetes, Heart risks, cancer and so on. In our culture,
Schools
have just become a place where we think students should gain A* in every academic subject and think of physical education as a secondary element.
This
thinking is just plain wrong and we need to take some harsh so that we can easily overcome
this
issue. Teaching
children
about their physical condition and how to maintain a healthy lifestyle is pretty important in my opinion
this
should start in
schools
.
Schools
should conduct special assemblies to teach the younger students about the importance of exercise and
sports
.
Schools
could
also
organize different events
in-
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
order to encourage the students to play different
sports
and so on. But in my opinion, only increasing the time spent on
sports
in
schools
to solve
this
problem isn't enough. We need to do more in order to fully take control of
this
growing situation. First of all, we can easily join hands with parents and show them that just by increasing an hour of outdoor activities can drastically
increases
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
their child's physical condition. Obesity is growing like a cancer in our world, taking hold of everything,
rotting
Correct word choice
and rotting
show examples
away the beauty of
this
world.
This
is a serious issue and we need to tackle it as soon and as severely as possible.
Submitted by bhullarkamal23 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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