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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people think that happiness relies upon individual, while others think that it is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #happiness #factors
Peaceful
mind
 is the integral part of our soul. For some people
happiness
 is a
state
 of
mind
, which can
control
 solely and some individuals believe that external factors plays a vital role in someone’s pleasure.
Therefore
, I will elaborate my views to conclude.
To begin
 with, someone’s enjoyment is purely based on his
state
 of
mind
.
Happiness
 is a factor which can achieve solely.
For instance
, if one can do yoga, meditation, and read books about spiritualism, he can find
happiness
 in his inner self. Certainly, anyone cannot find
happiness
 easily.
In addition
,
control
on
Suggestion
of
 your
state
 of
mind
 is the primary factor and ignore the matters or circumstances
is secondary
Suggestion
is secondary then dealt
has secondary then dealt
is secondary then deal
then
 deal to them with a pure heart and nothing to lose nature.
This
 approach brings enjoyment & peace towards you.
However
,
control
 your heart and
mind
, it’s the sturdiest and an
apposite
being directly across from each other; facing
opposite
 approach to stay happy.
On the contrary
, some other believes that
outer
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 matters affect the
mind
 & heart the most.
For example
, when someone going to the office or attend a function, he passes by someone’s cremation, he felts unhappiness, it’s a superstition, but that’s the firm truth, it
can affects
Suggestion
can affect
state
 of
mind
. Individuals believe that a good house, a bunch of money, a car is a symbol of
happiness
.
In addition
, weather plays a huge role in changing
state
 of
mind
. According to research by the Times of India, Pune has the most
happiness
 rate due to their pleasant weather. Music
also
 changes anyone’s behaviour. Henceforth, external factors are the important attributes. To summarize, People can
control
 their
mind it’s
Accept comma addition
mind, it’s
on
Suggestion
in
 their own hand, but
also
 not denied that
outer
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 matters is the prominent sign of a changing a
state
 of
mind
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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