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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
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A group of individuals present the
view
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 that all
students
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 should be taught their favourite field of
study
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,
whereas
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 others believe they have to pass only the courses that will be useful in the future. I strongly agree with the former opinion. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that if people
study
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 the subject that they are interested in them, they are more likely to succeed in their lives. Some researchers confirm that
students
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 who find their field of
study
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 interesting are willing to
study
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 harder and they do not
view
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 their subject’s difficulties as something intolerable.
Moreover
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, these
students
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 are more likely to obtain higher educational achievements which can lead to better career prospects.
Consequently
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, if we let
students
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study
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 their favourite subject it will be a great help to them to have a much happier life.
On the other hand
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, another group of people claim that if
students
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study
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 the main
subjects
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 that are emphasized in colleges and universities nowadays, they will achieve greater accomplishments in their careers. They insist that
subjects
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 like science and mathematics play a vital role in one’s success and only these kinds of
subjects
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 should be taught to
students
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.
However
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, I do not find
this
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 argument convincing because, if we do not care about
students
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’ interests and compel them to
study
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 some particular
subjects
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,
then
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 we will put them into some complex situations. From a social point of
view
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, if
students
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 find their
subjects
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 boring and too much difficult, they are more likely to suffer from depression in the future.
To conclude
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, in my
view
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, we should let
students
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 choose and pass their favorite courses which obviously can lead to a better life for them.
Moreover
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, obliging
students
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 to
study
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 their disfavored
subjects
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 can have numerous adverse effects on their lives.
Submitted by amirahmadi9301 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position and addresses both views of the topic effectively. To further improve, consider adding a few more specific examples, perhaps drawing on real-world scenarios or studies to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong. Each paragraph clearly follows from the previous one, and transitions between ideas are smooth. To make your essay even better, ensure that each main point is introduced with a topic sentence that aligns closely with the thesis statement in your introduction.
coherence cohesion
For cohesive writing, try to avoid repetition of words or phrases. Using synonyms or rephrasing can help maintain the reader's interest. Also, consider varying your sentence structures to create a more engaging flow.
coherence cohesion
You presented a well-structured argument with a clear thesis and logical progression of ideas. This makes your essay easy to follow and understand.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position clearly, reinforcing the arguments you've made throughout the essay.
task achievement
You successfully addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced understanding and comprehensive response to the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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