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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
#consumption #fish #kinds #meat #european #country
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The graph illustrates the quantities of
fish
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 and different kinds of meats consumed in a European country in the time period between 1979 and 2004. Over
this
Linking Words
 span of 25 years, the
consumption
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 of beef, lamb and
fish
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 has all decreased
while
Linking Words
 the
consumption
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 of chicken has dramatically risen. The biggest
consumption
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 in 1979 was 
meet
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meat
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 (about 220
grams
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 per
person
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 was consumed every
week
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)
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
consumption
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 in 1979 was that of
fish
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 (around 60
grams
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  per
person
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 per
week
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). The amount of
fish
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 which was eaten has remained almost constant at about 50
grams
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 from 1979 until 2004. The trends of beef and lamb
consumption
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 were similar, with decreases in
amount
Add an article
an amount
the amount
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in
Change preposition
apply
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between the years.
While
Linking Words
 beef
consumption
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 had declined from over 200
grams
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 per
person
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 to around 100
grams
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 during 25 years, lamb
consumption
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 fell from 150
grams
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 to approximately 50
grams
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 in the same period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, chicken
consumption
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 had risen gradually and reached a peak at
250grams
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250 grams
 per
person
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 per 
week
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in
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apply
show examples
 between 1994 and 2004.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, consumption, grams, person, week with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • fish
  • meat
  • poultry
  • beef
  • lamb
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • gradual
  • significant
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • trough
  • steady
  • correlation
  • period
  • data
  • comparison
  • predominant
  • kilograms per capita
  • dietary habits
  • health consciousness
  • sustainability
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