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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. What extend do you agree?

#people #government #money #arts
Few citizens consider that authorities spending money on arts and culture
whereas
 they can invest more money on other social issues which could be more beneficial for the community as a whole. To some
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
, I agree that
government
 should support art and culture and invest
on
Change preposition
in
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its preservation for coming generations,
however
Add a comma
however,
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 there are some serious social issues which need more attention
of
Change preposition
from
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government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 rather than
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will share one of the major
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
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 which need immediate support from the
government
. First of all, it is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 human psyche
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 always
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
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to preserve
Change the verb form
preserving
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 history.
This
 is what we are learning from the ancient age, they had drawn their actions,
Correct word choice
and believes
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believes
Replace the word
beliefs
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 on walls and stones, because they
believe
Wrong verb form
believed
show examples
 it was the best way to transfer their knowledge and history.
This
 is essential for every nation and authority to keep alive their heritage and tradition.
in addition
to
Correct pronoun usage
to this
show examples
,
this
 is
also
 important that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should
Verb problem
apply
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invest more money
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 promoting technical education. Technical education could help people to become skillful so they can
further
 contribute
in
Change preposition
to
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economy
Add an article
the economy
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 of the
country
. It is a great need to open vocational schools all over the
country
 which provide more
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
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 the general public to become qualified and skilled workers.
Moreover
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
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employment
Correct article usage
the employment
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 ratio and
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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per
Correct article usage
the per
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 capita income growth of the
country
. Skilled workers
always
Add a missing verb
are always
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 considered
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 capital of any
country
.
Those
Change the determiner
That country
Those countries
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country
 which
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 less skilled
works
Replace the word
workers
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always
depending
Wrong verb form
depend
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 on foreign workers.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, I prefer to invest more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technical education by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
,
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 that would be a great deal.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
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