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Band 6

Many People Think That Happiness Relies On The Responsibility Of Individuals Others Think It Is Affected By Other Factors

#people #happiness #responsibility #individuals #factors
In
this
 contemporary world,
jubilance
 plays a vital role in an individual's life despite hard-work and sacrifice.
However
,
happiness
 can be measured vividly and some people think it relies upon self-responsibility, while others think the perception of
happiness
 can be affected by external factors. Indeed, I believe that a significant piece of jubilation depends on outside factors and both viewpoints are elaborated as follows.
To begin
 with,
although
 bliss can be identified as a state of mind,
person
 nowadays follows their relaxing activities
such
 as spending time on the beach, listening to favourite music, meditation etc.
In addition
 to that, achieving a new skill or ambition
also
 imparts
happiness
 in one's life.
Moreover
, several books on religion demonstrate the state of mind or preach crucial values that indirectly affect the human mind.
For instance
, the renowned book "The God Gifts" teaches the state of satisfaction and methods for the same.
Hence
, the individual believes in their remunerative actions that make them happy.
Conversely
, according to certain people, ecstasy bestows by other predominant factors. To cite an example, prominent future milestones, dreaming spending time with family or buying a house etc. A significant "Times" newspaper demonstrates an article, how weather can affect a
person
's joy. It depicts the surpassing weather condition of Ontario, Canada that individual enjoys constantly.
Furthermore
, a
person
's
happiness
 relies on emotion and a positive spirit. For perfect paragon, if a
person
 achieves his work target simultaneous with career advancement, the magnitude of
happiness
 soaring undoubtedly. To recapitulate,
although
 it is a computable fact that
happiness
 relies on individual responsibility, it is
also
 an undeniable fact that extraneous factors are pivotal.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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