IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #hours #consequences
In the recent decades, the ongoing persistent debates, where they assume that long working hours make the country economically stronger than others. I believe that extended working period only comes with myriad health ailments, which would be explored in my upcoming paragraph. To commence with, lengthening the working hours of the employees has not the effective way to escalate the mass production of the
work
.
However
, mostly the workers with overtime come across numerous health issues like
work
 pressure lead to hypertension or heart disease, these are silent health problems but basically responsible for early retirement or premature mortality.
Moreover
, prolonging the time, might disturb the relationships of the individuals as they struggle to find leisure time for their friends and family, even for themselves too, the
ultimately
Suggestion
ultimate
 absence of quality time in life may affect the person psychologically like feeling more depressed,
loneliness
Suggestion
lonely
 and suicidal thoughts.
Furthermore
, to incline the economical graph of the nation, the companies ought to follow different strategies like furnished the projects with advanced technology like electronic machinery, which reduce the pressure or boost the accuracy of the
work
. In the industrial sectors, most of the 70 percent
work
 done by the technology.
Therefore
, no need for extensive working hours. To recapitulate above arguments, it's negative approach are overpowering the favourable aspects. I believe success and achievement only comes when the worker are physically or mentally strong, which cannot be possible by increasing working hours.
Submitted by alexloom08 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: