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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart shows the amount spent on digital games in the USA and China from 2010 to 2017 and the pie chart chart shows global spending on these games in 2017

The bar chart shows the amount spent on digital games in the USA and China from 2010 to 2017 and the pie chart chart shows global spending on these games in 2017
#bar #amount #games #usa #china
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The bar chart illustrates how much
money
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spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
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 by the USA and
China
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in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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digital gaming between 2010 and 2017
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart
give
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gives
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 information about the different types of gaming( mobile, console and PC) spent by
people
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 globally in the
year
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 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
amount
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 spent by the
people
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 of the USA
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
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 gradually
whereas
Linking Words
 the total spending by
China
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 is growing dramatically from 2010 to 2017.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, most
people
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 spent on mobile gaming globally in the
year
Use synonyms
 2017.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar chart, in the
year
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 2010,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Americans
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 spent nearly 18
billion
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dollars
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 which was roughly tripled the
amount
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 spent by the Chinese
people
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.
However
Linking Words
, the
amount
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 of
money
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 spent on digital gaming
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
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 prominently by
China
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 over the period of time
while
Linking Words
 the
amount
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 spent by
Americans
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 increased steadily. In 2016,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Americans
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Chinese
people
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 spent almost the same
amount
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 of
money
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in
Change preposition
on
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 gaming.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the period,
China
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 overtook the figure and the
amount
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 of
money
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 was approximately 27
billion
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dollars
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whereas
Linking Words
Americans
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 spent nearly
below
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apply
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25
billion
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dollars
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. The total
amount
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 of
money
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 spent by both the USA and
China
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 accounted for almost half of the gaming market revenue worldwide in the
year
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 2017.
Whereas
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mobile made up
of
Change preposition
apply
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most of the gaming revenue in the world which was 42% (46.1
billion
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dollars
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), the remaining went
on
Change preposition
to
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 consoles (31%) and PC (27%) in 2017.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, china, people, year, amount, americans, billion, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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