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Band 6

The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant.

The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant.
#unemployment #situation #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparision
Given
Correct article usage
The given
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 chart illustrates the rates of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unemployed in Australia in 2012. It can be seen that the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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 of unemployment from rural areas showed a downward trend over the
mid –
Correct your spelling
mid–period
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period
,
while
 the percentage of
urban
Add an article
the urban
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 unemployed population experienced a significant rise.
To begin
 in the first
quarter
 of
given
Add an article
the given
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period
, the percentage of jobless rural people witnessed over 6 %;
however
, over the following 2
quarters
Add a comma
,quarters
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 there was a sharp surge, nearly 2 %.
From the
Change preposition
The
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third
 to fourth
quarter
 of the
period
 saw a fluctuation in the unemployment rate which depicted approximately 5 %
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of the
quarter
. When it comes to the urban
out of worked
Add a hyphen
out-of-worked
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 population rate,
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
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quarter
 experienced over 2 %;
however
, over the following
period
 there was a marked growth, about 4 %. In the
third
quarter
Add a comma
,quarter
show examples
 the percentage of jobless people declined significantly, around 2 %. In spite of the fact that
he
Correct your spelling
the
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 following double quarters there were fluctuations, it witnessed over 4 %
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, third".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, quarter with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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