The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant.

The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. 

summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Given
Correct article usage
The given
show examples
chart illustrates the rates of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployed in Australia in 2012. It can be seen that the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
of unemployment from rural areas showed a downward trend over the
mid –
Correct your spelling
mid–period
show examples
period
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
the percentage of
urban
Add an article
the urban
show examples
unemployed population experienced a significant rise.
To begin
Linking Words
in the first
quarter
Use synonyms
of
given
Add an article
the given
show examples
period
Use synonyms
, the percentage of jobless rural people witnessed over 6 %;
however
Linking Words
, over the following 2
quarters
Add a comma
,quarters
show examples
there was a sharp surge, nearly 2 %.
From the
Change preposition
The
show examples
third
Linking Words
to fourth
quarter
Use synonyms
of the
period
Use synonyms
saw a fluctuation in the unemployment rate which depicted approximately 5 %
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
the end of the
quarter
Use synonyms
. When it comes to the urban
out of worked
Add a hyphen
out-of-worked
show examples
population rate,
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
show examples
quarter
Use synonyms
experienced over 2 %;
however
Linking Words
, over the following
period
Use synonyms
there was a marked growth, about 4 %. In the
third
Linking Words
Use synonyms
quarter
Add a comma
,quarter
show examples
the percentage of jobless people declined significantly, around 2 %. In spite of the fact that
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
following double quarters there were fluctuations, it witnessed over 4 %
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
the end of the year.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, third".
Vocabulary: Replace the words period, quarter with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: