IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a country's success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country's success full stop what are these factors ? Which of all factors do you think are most important?

#people #progress #measure #country #success #factors
A
country
's
development
 depends on various factors. Not only money is the main
fact but
Accept comma addition
fact, but
also
 education,
investment
 and production, entire military
force
,
Accept space
,
advanced
technology
 and communication system are the essential reasons behind a
country
's
development
. A camp of society deem that financial progression is the main way to assess a
country
's prosperity whereas, another segment of persons believe that there are several reasons that can be used for measuring a
country
's
success
.
However
,
Accept space
,
I personally do not fall in with the statement because not only money brings a
country
's
success
 they are are several
assessment
Suggestion
assessments
 and I will elaborate some factors in
this
 essay related to the topic. In spite of having importance of money
,
Accept space
,
a
country
 cannot go ahead without the others advancement
such
 as education
,
Accept space
,
investment
 and production
,
Accept space
,
 advanced
technology
 and communication as well as entire military
force
.
Firstly
, education is very crucial part
for
Suggestion
of
 a
country
's improvement. If the entire population
are not educated
Suggestion
is not educated
 the
country
 cannot make the prosperity.
secondly
Suggestion
Secondly
 the
development
 of a
country
 largely depends on its
investment
 and manufacturing sectors. The
country
 which
invest
Suggestion
invests
 more they could make more and the eventual outcome of the
country
's
success
 will grow up day by day.
For instance
, Australia, America and Russia are the most blooming countries in the globe because they have been focusing on their
investment
 and production sectors.
Advance
Suggestion
The advance
 of
technology
 and entire military
force
also
 play a vital role behind the
development
 of a
country
. Military
force
 could defend from
the the
definite article
the
 enemies as well as strangers and advanced
technology
 can affirm the better communication system which is
also
 helpful for a
country
's growth.
To
Suggestion
In
 conclusion
,
Accept space
,
although
 economic progress makes a great contribution
for
Suggestion
to
 every
country
's
success
, but there are
also
 some urgent factors and without them a
country
's
success
 cannot be assessed.
Submitted by afrinrahman242529 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: