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Band 6

Many people believe that education and high qualifications will bring success. Others think that it’s not required to achieve success in life. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Many people believe that
education
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 and high
qualifications
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 will bring
success
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. Others think that it’s not required to achieve
success
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 in life. Discuss
both
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 views and give your opinion. The relationship between formal
education
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 and
success
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 is a topic that has sparked considerable debate.
While
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 some assert that higher
education
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 and academic
qualifications
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 are essential for
success
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, others argue that these are not necessarily required to achieve a fulfilling and successful life.
This
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 essay will explore
both
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 perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint. On the one hand, those in
favor
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favour
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 of formal
education
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 argue that it is an indispensable factor in attaining
success
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.
Education
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, especially at higher levels, equips individuals with critical knowledge and specialized skills that are essential in fields
such
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 as medicine, law, engineering, and academia.
For example
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, professions
such
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 as doctors and lawyers require years of study to gain the
qualifications
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 needed to practice, and these credentials are often directly linked to career advancement and higher earnings.
In addition
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 to technical expertise,
education
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also
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 nurtures vital transferable skills
such
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 as problem-solving, communication, and analytical thinking, which are necessary for professional
success
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 in various sectors.
Therefore
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, proponents of
education
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 argue that
qualifications
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 open doors to opportunities that would
otherwise
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 be inaccessible.
On the other hand
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, there are those who contend that
success
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 is not solely reliant on academic
qualifications
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. They believe that factors
such
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 as
experience
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, innovation, and personal drive can lead to
success
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 without the need for formal
education
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. Many successful entrepreneurs, including figures
such
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 as Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and Richard Branson, are notable examples of individuals who achieved extraordinary
success
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 without completing higher
education
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.
Instead
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 of relying on academic
qualifications
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, these individuals thrived by harnessing their creativity, vision, and ability to adapt to rapidly changing environments.
Moreover
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, in the digital era, technological advancements and online learning platforms provide alternative routes to acquiring valuable skills, making formal
education
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 less indispensable in certain industries like IT, digital marketing, and the arts.
Thus
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,
success
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 can be achieved by those who have the initiative to learn independently and leverage opportunities in the real world. In my view,
while
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 formal
education
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 undoubtedly plays a significant role in shaping a successful career, it is not the sole determinant. The combination of
education
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 and real-world
experience
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,
along with
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 qualities
such
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 as resilience, adaptability, and creativity, can often prove to be more powerful. In today’s fast-paced and ever-evolving job market,
success
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 hinges not only on academic achievements but
also
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 on the ability to apply knowledge practically, seize opportunities, and continuously develop oneself.
Therefore
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, I believe that a balanced approach, which includes
both
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 formal
education
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 and practical
experience
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, is the most effective way to achieve lasting
success
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. In conclusion,
while
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education
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 and high
qualifications
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 offer significant advantages,
success
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 is not solely dependent on them. A combination of
education
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, practical
experience
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, and personal attributes
such
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 as ambition and creativity are essential components of achieving
success
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. Ultimately,
success
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 is multifaceted, and those who possess
both
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 the
qualifications
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 and the determination to learn and adapt are more likely to thrive in their chosen fields.

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task achievement
Consider incorporating a slightly more balanced discussion. While you provided strong support for both views, including more nuances or additional perspectives could further enrich the essay.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the introduction by presenting a more direct overview of the essay's structure. This will make it clearer to the reader what to expect in the discussion that follows.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, which makes it easy to follow the argumentation.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both views of the argument, providing a well-rounded discussion.
task achievement
The writing contains relevant and specific examples, such as references to Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, which enhance the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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