Some people think money is the best gift to give to teenagers others disagree to this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #gift #teenagers

Although

some people believe that giving

money

as a

gift

to youngsters is the best

way

appericiate

recognize with gratitude; be grateful for

appreciate

them

Accept space

others hold

Suggestion

opposite view.In my opinion, I believe there are many others gifts can be presented to them to show your feelings

Accept space

On the

one one

used of a single unit or thing; not two or more

one

hand

, some people think giving cash to the teenagers as a

gift

is more acceptable because of the following

reason

Suggestion

reasons

Firstly

Accept space

they can buy that thing with the

money

which they need more and

useful

Suggestion

more useful

to them.

This

way

, they can help that family financially

Accept space

too

Accept space

For example

, if a person

want

Suggestion

wants

to buy a new phone will be more happy with

money

as a

gift

rather than any decoration piece because that

money

will

contruibute

bestow a quality on

contribute

to get a new phone.

Therefore

money

is considered as a best

gift

Accept space

On the other

hand

Accept space

some people believe that teenagers can use that

money

wrong

Suggestion

the wrong way

way

because they are not very mature to understand what is right and wrong for them.

Moreover

, nowadays it is a well known fact that teenagers with more

money

resort to

unsucruplous

without scruples or principles

unscrupulous

way

like drugs and gambling.

Hence

Accept space

the better

Suggestion

the best

way

to buy some educational stuff

Accept space

namely books rather than give cash to them. In my opinion

Accept space

I believe, the best

way

is to explore the

intrests

a sense of concern with and curiosity about someone or something

interests

interest

of a person before presenting a

gift

Accept space

To elaborate,

gift

Suggestion

a gift

is not only a

product but

Accept comma addition

product, but

also

way

Suggestion

a way

ways

the way

of showing our feelings to someone. To illustrate a person will be

more happy

Suggestion

happier

than

money

if we present something

hand

made

such

hand

made portrait.So, in my

opinin

a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty

opinion

opening

gift

should represent your feeling not your financial status. In conclusion, while people have

different opinion

Suggestion

different opinions

a different opinion

, according to me, handmade

gift

which shows your emotions and feeling would be a

best

Suggestion

good

better

gift

for someone.

Submitted by bhawnaj7 on Sun Apr 19 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

297 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think money is the best gift to give to teenagers others disagree to this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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