IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Successful companies use advertisement to make more sales. What can make an advertisement very effective? Do you think this is a bad thing or a good thing for the society?

#companies #advertisement #sales #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Advertisements are playing a key role than the previous time. Most of the renewed organization throughout the globe take advertise to enhance sales profit. Advertising can be more impactful by adopting some strategies. I opine it is deleterious effect among society. To commence with, there are myriad way to make an impressive Advertise. The key factor is, it must be creative and entertaining. Because people like new idea and entertain ably adds which enthuse them to buy
Use synonyms
product
Suggestion
the product
a product
. Another method is hiring famous celebrities for promotion of the products. As an exemplification, Adidas and Nike pay sports persons to promote their brand globally.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because the prominent figure is adorable by many citizens, especially younger generation; they are trying to follow their idols.
As a result
Linking Words
, their fans are buying those
Use synonyms
product
Suggestion
products
 which endorsed by their role model.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, Advertise affect our community in
negative way
Suggestion
a negative way
negative ways
. To elaborate, it is promoting the use and throws culture. It makes aware of public about new
product
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
 people are desiring to acquire new
product
Use synonyms
. Due to
this
Linking Words
 tendency individuals are using their money to buy unnecessary goods, which may be
lead economical crisis
Suggestion
a lead economical crisis
 upon them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, commercial mainly target youngsters because they are more impressive than an adult. Children are forced their parent to buy their desired
product
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, every family are not economically stable, which may create a debt trap for them. As well as, to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their yearning they could be involved in crime. In conclusion, Commercial ads are increasing revenue of the company. In the long run, the ads have a negative effect among the society.
Linking Words
Thus companies
Accept comma addition
Thus, companies
 have to more careful about their commercial.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: