In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility

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The 20th century has evolved with various developments

such

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as the internet, mobile technology and IT revolution, etc. Since

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apply

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these new enhancements have glued

the

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apply

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adolescents

with

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the

Change the word

their

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laptop or mobile

phone

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phones

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rather than playing outdoors, so

this

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has become a major issue in terms of lack of physical

activities

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consequently

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, the upcoming generations are facing health issues namely, obesity, eyesight and

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an under-developed

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under-developed

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underdeveloped

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brain. Some critics assert that the government should take some steps to stop

this

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however

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however,

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I completely disagree with

this

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, and the essay will outline the reasons for

this

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Firstly

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, home is the first school and

parents

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are the first teacher of kids,

therefore

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only

parents

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can have

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apply

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strict control

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over

show examples

the

timings

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time

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of the TV or video

games

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In other words

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parents

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have to set some rules on the usage of the on-screen

games

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apply

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and allocate more time to the outdoor

games

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as compared to indoor

activities

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. In Japan,

for instance

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, the kids are lean because they spend time more time in outdoor

games

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as compared to India.

Moreover

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, it is only the

parents

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who can monitor their kids' routine more closely, and motivate them

setting

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by setting

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up rewards like sweets or small gifts, if they play more outside.

Secondly

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parents

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have a natural and emotional bond with their children, and they should

also

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accompany them to parks and grounds,

hence

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this

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can convince them easily as compared to rules set by the public authority of a country.

For example

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, it is indubitable that

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apply

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it will be more beneficial for a child's health, when a child is playing outside

along with

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his family, as compared to forcefully being asked to play outside of the law defined by an authority.

Furthermore

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, because the people living in a society can organize family

activities

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more frequently as compared to governments;

as a result

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, more children will come outside to do physical

activities

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To conclude

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parents

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should be guiding their children regarding the ways of a healthy lifestyle. They themselves should

involve

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be involved

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in making their wards

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apply

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follow a healthy daily routine.

Submitted by vij.vinay on Sun Apr 19 2020

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Coherence and Cohesion

Provide a clear introduction and conclude with a summary of key points to improve coherence.

Task Achievement

Present a more thorough response to the task prompt, addressing alternative perspectives, and providing a balanced discussion of the issue.

17
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

343 words

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In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Better driver education for better driving habits is more effective than heavier punishments for driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In many countries, children today have more freedom than they used to. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that in this modern world getting old is entirely bad. However, other people believe that the life of old people is much better now than it was in the past. Discuss both points and give your opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.