The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an afford to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Owing to the problems which a growing of population of overweight people
causes
Suggestion
cause
of the energy
care
system, some people believe that, the most effective
methode
a way of doing something, especially a systematic way; implies an orderly logical arrangement (usually in steps)
method
methods
to
sovle
find the solution to (a problem or question) or understand the meaning of
solve
these issues is to have more game and
exercise
in schools. In my opinion,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
agree that
this
is an essential way to
tackle but
Accept comma addition
tackle, but
there is
also
another factor should be held in account is to have a good
diet
.
First
of all, including more game and
exercise
in school's lesson will acknowledge children on how to keep them fit and
health
Suggestion
healthy
since children are more likely to learn everything new and fun. With
this
,
teacher
Suggestion
teachers
the teacher
can instill in students the habit of following a healthy lifestyle from the start. A clear example is about myself. I learned the
physical
Suggestion
physics
lesson when
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
was in Primary School. To now, I continue to go to gym club every weekend since
this
is my habit.
Thus
, inserting
exercise
activity
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
school curriculum
Suggestion
the school curriculum
is really helpful in
health
system.
An other
Suggestion
Another
factor to consider on how to
slove
find the solution to (a problem or question) or understand the meaning of
solve
slow
save
health
Suggestion
the health care issue
health care issues
care
issue with obesity is to have an
apropriate
suitable for a particular person or place or condition etc
appropriate
inappropriate
diet
. Having
exercise
with a poor
diet
won't lead to healthy and fit. A good nutrition is an important part of leading to
heathy lifestyle
Suggestion
healthy lifestyles
healthy lifestyle
a healthy lifestyle
heavy lifestyle
healthier lifestyle
. Combined with physical activity, your
diet
can help you to reach and maintain a
health
Suggestion
healthy
healthier
weight, reduce a risk of chronic diseases and promote your overall
health
.
For instance
, unhealthy eating habits have contributed to obesity
epidermic
a widespread outbreak of an infectious disease; many people are infected at the same time
epidemic
in the US about 13% of U.S population. So
health
Suggestion
the health care system
care
system will never be out of stress without informing people on how to eat healthy. In conclusion, I strongly agree that involving children with physical class is the important key to issue
health
care
problem but
Accept comma addition
problem, but
this
is really not enough
since
Suggestion
for
an
apropriate
suitable for a particular person or place or condition etc
appropriate
inappropriate
diet
have to go through with.

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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