IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many students today graduate high school and wish to continue studying abroad. Give the advantages of studying overseas and the advantages of staying home.

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Nowadays, many
students
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 who finish high school want to continue their studies in another
country
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. Studying abroad has several advantages, but studying in one’s home
country
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also
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 has many benefits.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages of both choices. On the one hand, studying overseas gives
students
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 the chance to learn a new
language
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 and experience a different culture. When
students
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 live in another
country
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, they have to communicate with local people, so their
language
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 skills may improve quickly. They can
also
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 learn about different traditions, lifestyles, and ways of thinking. Another advantage is that some foreign universities offer better facilities, specialised courses, and experienced professors.
In addition
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,
students
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 who live far from their families may become more independent because they have to manage their money, organise their time, and solve problems by themselves.
On the other hand
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, studying in one’s home
country
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 is usually less expensive.
Students
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 may pay lower tuition fees, and they can save money on accommodation, transportation, and daily living costs.
This
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 is especially helpful for
students
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 whose families have a limited budget. Another benefit is that
students
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 can stay close to their family and friends. They can receive emotional support when they feel stressed or face academic problems.
Furthermore
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, studying in their first
language
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 may help them understand lessons more easily and communicate better with teachers and classmates. In conclusion, studying abroad can provide
students
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 with
language
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 skills, cultural experiences, and independence.
However
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, studying at home is more affordable and allows
students
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 to remain close to their support system. The best choice depends on each student’s goals, financial situation, and personal preferences.

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task response
Score: 8. To move closer to 9, give one more real or clear example for a main point. For example, say how a student can use a new language in class, at work, or with local people.
task response
Some points could be a little more full. For example, explain why better facilities or more experienced teachers can lead to better learning.
coherence and cohesion
Your links are good, but you use “Another advantage” and “Another benefit” more than once. Use other simple links, such as “Also”, “For example”, or “As a result”.
coherence and cohesion
You can make the end even stronger by saying clearly that both choices are good, but the right choice changes from one student to another.
task response
You answer both parts of the task well. You show clear good points for study abroad and for study at home.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: language, new culture, better study, and being more able to do things alone; lower cost, family help, and first-language study.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and a clear end.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are in a good order. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help the reader follow your two sides.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part stays on one main side of the topic, and each point has a short reason or result.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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