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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and table show the number of fishers in millions for different regions between 1970, 1980 and 2000, and the world's top ten exporters of fish in 2000.

The chart and table show the number of fishers in millions for different regions between 1970, 1980 and 2000, and the world's top ten exporters of fish in 2000.
#show #fishers #millions #regions #world #ten #exporters #fish
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The graph reveals the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
fishermen
 between 1970 and 2000 in different continents and the table describes the top ten fish exporters in the world in the year 2000.
Overall
, fishing communities had developed in size in most countries and regions, with the number of fishers in
Asia
 more numerous and
Asia
 countries leading the list of exporters.
According to
 the data in the bar chart, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
fishermen
 tended to accelerate in
Asia
, Africa and North
America
 from 1970 to 2000. In
Asia
, the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
fisheries population abruptly surged
roughly
Change preposition
by roughly
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 16 million,
whereas
 there is a modest growth of
fishermen
 in Africa and North
America
. After
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 the figure stayed stable
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
fishing
Correct article usage
the fishing
show examples
 population in Europe and South
America
. Especially, in
Europe
Add a comma
,Europe
show examples
 the
fishermen
 reached the lowest point of the bottom at 0.4 million in 1980,
while
this
 figure still kept constant
roughly
Change preposition
at roughly
show examples
 1.2 million from 1970 to 2000 in South
America
. Turning to the table, there was a more detailed look at the chart in 2000 that indicated
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 ten exporters of fish in the world. Thailand is the world's leading fish exporter, but European and North American countries
also
 rank in the
next
 ranks. Norway and Denmark are in
second
 and fifth place,
while
 the United States is in the
third
 largest export position and Canada is sixth. China and Taiwan took fourth and seventh place,
while
 Russia, Indonesia and South Korea took eighth, ninth and tenth place respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fishermen, asia, america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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