IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Houses are essential for people. Some argue that governments should offer free houses for people who can not afford to pay for it. Do you agree or disagree with the statement.

#houses #people #argue #governments #offer
Houses are important to the
people
 as they provide shelter,
hence
, a few
people
 have argued that the law should provide free
shelters
Fix the agreement mistake
shelter
show examples
 for the citizens who can't afford to pay for it. I strongly agree that the government should,
therefore
, pay for the needy who are unable to afford a home.
To begin
, a house is very important to own because it provides shelter to the
people
. After a long day of work,
people
 tend to return to their homes to sleep and do other things. Without having a roof over one's head,
people
 may end up on the streets or under bridges. To illustrate, having a home brings
comfortability
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
 and togetherness to
people
 in the southern part of Nigeria and it has helped them work effectively.
Furthermore
, the government owes its citizens care and shelter. They are expected to take
people
 off the streets in order to improve lives and standard of living and
also
, prevent crimes
such
 as rape, robbery and killing. It is expected by the law to build houses where
people
 who are indisposed can live.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 the governor of Oyo State in Nigeria has built 56 homes so far for the homeless and
thus
, the crime rate in the state has drastically reduced. In conclusion, it is important for the government to construct houses for the needy in order to improve their lives and standard of living and at the same time
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the crime rate
such
 as rape, robbery and killing in the communities.
Submitted by olaryinkar on

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Task Response
The essay effectively addresses the topic and provides relevant arguments to support the position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ideas are well connected and presented in a cohesive manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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