In some time countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Recently
Punctuation problem
Recently,
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more and more options have opened for
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
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to pursue education, one of which is taking a gap year after finishing high school and before enrolling in university.
This
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essay intends to analyse both sides of the choice. As regards the benefits, a period break during
this
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period contributes a great deal to students' self-development and promotes essential skills for the future. During
this
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time, students have chances to do whatever they want
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such
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, such
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as travelling abroad for
further
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knowledge, participating in community services or trying
applying
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to apply
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for a job to discover their true abilities and wishes. Bill Gates,
for instance
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, even dropped out of university and riskily set up his own business
which
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, which
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led him to success.
Moreover
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, students who experience
such
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break
Correct article usage
a break
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tend to work excellently in academia as they have acquired crucial abilities and characteristics
such
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as patience and determination.
However
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,
this
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is not an easy choice. It is a real challenge that will beat weaklings after a short period of time. Youngsters
that
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who
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have just gone out of high school
do
Verb problem
are
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not fully prepared for difficulties. In the gap year, many choose to go overseas in
which
Correct word choice
where
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they may undergo homesickness or stress. Another problem to state is that some may be distracted from their original purposes as they experience
such
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a variety of aspects of
the
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apply
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society.
To conclude
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, taking a space break between the end of high school and the beginning of an educational institution should be encouraged if young people are sure of what they are doing.

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structure
Use a clear plan. Start with a short intro, then two body paragraphs for pros and cons, then a short conclusion.
grammar
Check many small grammar errors and use plain, common words. Fix phrases like 'period break' and 'riskily' to proper forms.
content
Give one or two strong examples and explain how they support each point.
content
The essay shows a clear aim and tries to discuss both sides.
structure
There is effort to use examples and to link ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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