IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Please complete the personal statement IN YOUR OWN WORDS. You must submit the personal statement in English in the space provided below. Describe, in no more than 500 words, your reasons for applying for your chosen course of study and the ways in which you expect your study experience to make a difference to your life and those around you.

#english #space #course #study #difference #life
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In 2016, I graduated from high
school
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 only to find out that college is not what I expected. There is no strict schedule or a specific pathway to the future, which means I have to start planning my life on my own.
Thus
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, as the
school
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 began I started to explore my interest, looking for a field that I want to dive in. It was a frustrating time. As a freshman student, I had no idea what I am capable of doing, nor do I know what I like. Luckily, by the end of the semester, there was a
design
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 workshop drew my attention. Out of curiosity I signed it up. During the workshop I felt something that I didn’t have while I studied engineering. It was the
first
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 time that I felt the passion lay within my heart.
However
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, I struggled with whether to set my career in
design
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. Staying in engineering guarantees a stable income and a smooth career path. Choosing
design
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 means I had to give up all of that.
Besides
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, at that time I didn’t actually have any background of
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design
Suggestion
the design
.
Therefore
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, I wasn’t sure about my enthusiasm in
design
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 and whether having enough related abilities. In the following semester I decided to step out of my comfort zone. I selected a
design
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 related course to gain more knowledge and
experience
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. Later that year I once again challenged myself by taking on the role of a
design
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 teaching assistant. I constructed a course framework and introduced basic
design
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 methodologies and tools to students.
Although
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 studying engineering is difficult for me, I still stayed in our department, and considered it as a complementary support for my
design
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.
As a result
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, I have been longing to combine engineering and
design
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. In my sophomore year, I had my
first
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 tryout of utilizing both of them in a project. Teaming up with some of my classmates, we joined our
school
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 Entrepreneur Day’s competition, and we were the youngest team to be in the final. To examine my
design
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 on the market, I became a freelance graphic designer.
However
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, even with all these experiences, it is still not enough for me. I want to test the limits and break through. Attending graduate
school
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 is a perfect opportunity to help me integrate all my skills better. I can
also
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 gain more hands-on
experience
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, which can definitely make me a better designer. Since my university has a main focus on engineering and science, it took me a year to search for suitable
design
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 schools. I ended up choosing some of the best
design
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 schools around the globe, which all encourage people from different field to help creating a more diverse environment. After submitting my application my journey didn’t stop there, I kept on designing. Designs like packaging
design
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 and concept products, which were later submitted to Red Dot
Design
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 Award. I
also
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 wanted to use my own
experience
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 to help the others, those who have doubts about their career. Recently, I have been writing a series of articles, trying to pass on what I have learned throughout my college years. I hope with my
experience
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 as an example, they can start finding their passion and start chasing their dream.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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