Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performance on the screen and no need to watch it live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that
individuals
are now able to entertain themselves
viewing
Change preposition
by viewing
show examples
the shows on TV, with the privilege
over
Change preposition
of
show examples
attending the
live
performance.
While
I assume that watching the shows on the screen is
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
approach, I
also
claim
live
entertainment
to provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
auditory
stress
reduction.
Thus
it seems to me that
both
views regarding the way of having enjoyment have strong supports which will be analyzed through
this
essay. On the one hand,
individuals
tend to save
the
Change the word
their
show examples
budget
watching
Change preposition
by watching
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV shows on the screen.
While
there is an opportunity for
people
to enjoy
the
Change the word
their
show examples
leisure time staying at home, they are likely to accept
this
way as it would reduce ticket
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
. Human beings can
then
watch
entertainment
performances
with their family and have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
total amusement
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
sharing time
together with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
close
people
away from possible surrounding noises during the
live
acts.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
recent questionnaire in the US revealed that only 30% of the citizens had
desire
Correct article usage
a desire
show examples
to visit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
live
concerts or late shows because the rest reported that watching the
performances
on the screen was superior to spending money for
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
and travel as
both
of them share the same content.
Therefore
,
people
remain
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the same financial condition if they observe the shows on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
display.
On the other hand
,
individuals
would benefit from reducing
stress
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
going to a
live
entertainment
performance. Having shared the moment there, they could enjoy with
live
atmosphere and
then
obtain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
sufficient emotional support.
This
might positively result in the mental state as
people
boost their own mood. To illustrate, the new research of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Duke University reviewed that musical
performances
decrease the release of cortisol which is known as the
stress
hormone. In
this
study of 117 applicants, it was found that participants witnessed a significant decrease in cortisol,
even
Rephrase
apply
show examples
including reduced heart rate and calmer breathing meaning that through attending the
live
show, the
individuals
received
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
considerable power to
both
mental state and health.
Hence
,
stress
is relieved when
people
have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
live
performance experiment.
To conclude
, I feel that
both
sides of the argument regarding the way of sharing
entertainment
performances
revealed strong examples.
Although
people
save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money watching the shows on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
display, the chance of reducing
stress
hormones is provided for humans who observe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
live
acts. I
thus
contend that the scenario of getting
entertainment
depends on
people
themselves and they should choose the option under their own circumstances.
Submitted by 5772302000shox on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the essay prompt are fully addressed in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Use clear and logical paragraph structure to enhance coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied and precise words and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and ensure accurate and varied use of grammar.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • variety
  • engaging
  • real-time
  • performing arts
  • interaction
  • emotional connection
  • spontaneity
  • authenticity
  • immersive
  • sensory experience
  • virtual reality
  • audience participation
  • curated
  • cultural heritage
  • relevance
  • social interaction
  • public opinion
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