Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performance on the screen and no need to watch it live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that
individuals
are now able to entertain themselves Use synonyms
viewing
the shows on TV, with the privilege Change preposition
by viewing
over
attending the Change preposition
of
live
performance. Use synonyms
While
I assume that watching the shows on the screen is Linking Words
cost effective
approach, I Add a hyphen
cost-effective
also
claim Linking Words
live
Use synonyms
entertainment
Use synonyms
to provide
auditory Change the verb form
provides
stress
reduction. Use synonyms
Thus
it seems to me that Linking Words
both
views regarding the way of having enjoyment have strong supports which will be analyzed through Use synonyms
this
essay.
On the one hand, Linking Words
individuals
tend to save Use synonyms
the
budget Change the word
their
watching
Change preposition
by watching
the
TV shows on the screen. Correct article usage
apply
While
there is an opportunity for Linking Words
people
to enjoy Use synonyms
the
leisure time staying at home, they are likely to accept Change the word
their
this
way as it would reduce ticket Linking Words
cost
. Human beings can Fix the agreement mistake
costs
then
watch Linking Words
entertainment
Use synonyms
performances
with their family and have Use synonyms
a
total amusement Correct article usage
apply
of
sharing time Change preposition
in
together with
Linking Words
the
close Correct article usage
apply
people
away from possible surrounding noises during the Use synonyms
live
acts. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
the
recent questionnaire in the US revealed that only 30% of the citizens had Correct article usage
a
desire
to visit Correct article usage
a desire
the
Correct article usage
apply
live
concerts or late shows because the rest reported that watching the Use synonyms
performances
on the screen was superior to spending money for Use synonyms
ticket
and travel as Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
both
of them share the same content. Use synonyms
Therefore
, Linking Words
people
remain Use synonyms
at
the same financial condition if they observe the shows on Change preposition
in
the
display.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, Linking Words
individuals
would benefit from reducing Use synonyms
stress
Use synonyms
through
going to a Change preposition
by
live
Use synonyms
entertainment
performance. Having shared the moment there, they could enjoy with Use synonyms
live
atmosphere and Use synonyms
then
obtain Linking Words
a
sufficient emotional support. Remove the article
apply
This
might positively result in the mental state as Linking Words
people
boost their own mood. To illustrate, the new research of Use synonyms
the
Duke University reviewed that musical Correct article usage
apply
performances
decrease the release of cortisol which is known as the Use synonyms
stress
hormone. In Use synonyms
this
study of 117 applicants, it was found that participants witnessed a significant decrease in cortisol, Linking Words
even
including reduced heart rate and calmer breathing meaning that through attending the Rephrase
apply
live
show, the Use synonyms
individuals
received Use synonyms
the
considerable power to Correct article usage
apply
both
mental state and health. Use synonyms
Hence
, Linking Words
stress
is relieved when Use synonyms
people
have Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
a
live
performance experiment.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, I feel that Linking Words
both
sides of the argument regarding the way of sharing Use synonyms
entertainment
Use synonyms
performances
revealed strong examples. Use synonyms
Although
Linking Words
people
save Use synonyms
the
money watching the shows on Correct article usage
apply
the
display, the chance of reducing Correct article usage
apply
stress
hormones is provided for humans who observe Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
live
acts. I Use synonyms
thus
contend that the scenario of getting Linking Words
entertainment
depends on Use synonyms
people
themselves and they should choose the option under their own circumstances.Use synonyms
Submitted by 5772302000shox on
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task response
Ensure that all parts of the essay prompt are fully addressed in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Use clear and logical paragraph structure to enhance coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied and precise words and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and ensure accurate and varied use of grammar.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.