IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people think media should be allowed to publicize information on someone's private life. Others believe that media should be regulated in this regard.

#people #media #information #someone #life
In the world of modern technology, people are increasingly considering how we handle private
information
. We can see the differences in how financial reports are regulated in
law
 by looking at two different forms of companies: shareholder companies and private companies. The
law
 requires that certain companies are transparent in their business operations.
For example
, shareholder companies are required to complete a financial report every year and that
this
 report must be done by a certified
audit
Suggestion
auditor
 company.
However
, for private companies
this
 is not a mandatory practise and they are not required to publish shareholder
information
. It could be argued that the
law
 is applied unfairly and that some people are afforded a greater level of privacy than others. The
law
should be include
Suggestion
should include
 a penalty for those who do not comply and in turn
this
 would avoid the media making the issue into a political one. Greater transparency could have a wider impact
in
Suggestion
on
 it would negate the need for organisations
such
 as Wikileaks from publishing
companies
Suggestion
company
companies'
company's
information
 under the guise that they are doing so for the good of
society but
Accept comma addition
society, but
 when we look deeper we see that they have a financial motivation to publish private
information
.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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