Despite greater access to school education, many adults today still cannot read or write? How does this affect them in life? What can the government do to help them?
It is commonly observed that in spite of having ample
of
educational institutions, a vast majority of young men and women Change preposition
apply
are lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
education
. This
certainly hampers their growth as they are not eligible for the white-collar jobs
. However
, this
problem can be solved if government
can make the
primary Correct article usage
apply
education
compulsory for everyone.
To begin
with, education
is a basic right for human beings because it helps them to achieve their dreams and aspirations by securing highly paid
Add a hyphen
highly-paid
jobs
. However
, in the modern world, the majority of people
living in the
rural Correct article usage
apply
areas
are unable to acquire the
basic Correct article usage
a
education
due to
the absence of schools and universities. As a result
, they have to pursue labour jobs
to afford the basic necessities such
as food, clothing and shelter. Additionally
, with the low-income jobs
they will not be able to educate their children and will end up struggling below the poverty line. Add a comma
jobs,
For instance
, according to
a
research conducted by the University of British Columbia, 80% Correct article usage
apply
people
living in Change preposition
of people
the
rural Correct article usage
apply
areas
are illiterate and are doing construction jobs
to run their family
.
There are a number of steps that can taken by the Fix the agreement mistake
families
government
to educate every citizen of a country. Firstly
, government
should make Add an article
the government
education
compulsory for everyone, which means they have to open more schools and universities in the rural areas
. By doing so, people
living in rural areas
will not only be able to improve their living standards,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
can teach education
to their kids. Secondly
, government
should collaborate with a
Non-Correct article usage
apply
Government
Organisations to educate people
according to
their work schedule. To exemplify, UNICEF, the Non-Government
Organisation has started a programme, in which they offer a night school for people
working during the day. Moreover
, they offer an internship programme to hire their students.
To conclude
, regardless of considerable access to education
, people
in the remote areas
are still illiterate and working in low paid
Add a hyphen
low-paid
jobs
. Thus
, government
actions such
as opening schools in remote areas
and making education
compulsory for everyone can help us to make people
literate.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay can be improved. Consider clearer transitions between your points, and ensure each paragraph flows naturally into the next.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and varied examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Some sentences are complex and could benefit from simplification for better clarity. Also, be mindful of small grammatical errors.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, effectively setting the scene and summarizing the main points of your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, reflecting a good understanding of the topic and the issues involved.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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