Despite greater access to school education, many adults today still cannot read or write? How does this affect them in life? What can the government do to help them?

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It is commonly observed that in spite of having ample
of
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apply
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educational institutions, a vast majority of young men and women
are lacking
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lack
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education
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.
This
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certainly hampers their growth as they are not eligible for the white-collar
jobs
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.
However
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,
this
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problem can be solved if
government
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can make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primary
education
Use synonyms
compulsory for everyone.
To begin
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with,
education
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is a basic right for human beings because it helps them to achieve their dreams and aspirations by securing
highly paid
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highly-paid
show examples
jobs
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.
However
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, in the modern world, the majority of
people
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living in
the
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apply
show examples
rural
areas
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are unable to acquire
the
Correct article usage
a
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basic
education
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due to
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the absence of schools and universities.
As a result
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, they have to pursue labour
jobs
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to afford the basic necessities
such
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as food, clothing and shelter.
Additionally
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, with the low-income
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jobs
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jobs,
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they will not be able to educate their children and will end up struggling below the poverty line.
For instance
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,
according to
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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research conducted by the University of British Columbia, 80%
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people
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of people
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living in
the
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apply
show examples
rural
areas
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are illiterate and are doing construction
jobs
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to run their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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. There are a number of steps that can taken by the
government
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to educate every citizen of a country.
Firstly
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,
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government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should make
education
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compulsory for everyone, which means they have to open more schools and universities in the rural
areas
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. By doing so,
people
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living in rural
areas
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will not only be able to improve their living standards
,
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apply
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but
also
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can teach
education
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to their kids.
Secondly
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,
government
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should collaborate with
a
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apply
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Non-
Government
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Organisations to educate
people
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according to
Linking Words
their work schedule. To exemplify, UNICEF, the Non-
Government
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Organisation has started a programme, in which they offer a night school for
people
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working during the day.
Moreover
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, they offer an internship programme to hire their students.
To conclude
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, regardless of considerable access to
education
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,
people
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in the remote
areas
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are still illiterate and working in
low paid
Add a hyphen
low-paid
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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,
government
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actions
such
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as opening schools in remote
areas
Use synonyms
and making
education
Use synonyms
compulsory for everyone can help us to make
people
Use synonyms
literate.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay can be improved. Consider clearer transitions between your points, and ensure each paragraph flows naturally into the next.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and varied examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Some sentences are complex and could benefit from simplification for better clarity. Also, be mindful of small grammatical errors.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, effectively setting the scene and summarizing the main points of your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, reflecting a good understanding of the topic and the issues involved.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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