In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Some think this is good, while others believe this is a problem for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #proportion #people #think #country

With increasing longevity of people, the proportion of older people is gradually increasing in almost all countries. While some people think the elderly are important since they have an extensive experience of various social systems, others believe

this

leads to loss of opportunities for youngsters and economic pressure on

state's resources

Suggestion

the state's resources

. I agree with the former view. It is evident that

the old

Suggestion

older

people have a deeper understanding of social systems. They have spent a lifetime in a culture and,

thus

, have a deep knowledge of various rituals, customs, and traditions. Preserving these elements of a society is extremely important to maintain a unique cultural identity of a community.

Otherwise

, with the onslaught of western food, clothing, and language, people will lose their unique existence and will be assimilated into the western culture.

For instance

, while youngsters in India prefer wearing jeans and consume junk food at McDonald's, the elderly preserve the Gujarati, Punjabi and Tamil traditional dresses and food. Youngsters realize the importance of these items once they enter the mid-age.

On the other hand

, a large percentage of elderly citizens

exerts

Suggestion

exert

tremendous pressure on financial resources of the state. Since they have retired from service, the government pays them a pension without any economic contribution to the system.

For example

, the annual pension bill of Japan, one of the most aged societies of the world, has severely reduced the fund

availability

Suggestion

available

for other important areas

such

as infrastructure.

Moreover

, the elderly have strong work experience and many companies hire their services after retirement.

This

leads to fewer opportunities for youngsters.

For instance

, global corporations prefer hiring retired government employees to learn about government policy.

This

prevents youngsters from gaining experience in

this

domain. In conclusion, I believe that though the elderly may adversely impact financial resources of a state and crowd-out the opportunities for youngsters, they are extremely beneficial to the society as they help build strong foundations of the society.

Submitted by gagansingh0017 on Wed Apr 22 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

323 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Some think this is good, while others believe this is a problem for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some People prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing and avoiding changes. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

In the past important knowledge and history were stored in the museum. Nowadays information is freely available on the Internet therefore is no longer a need for museums. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In over to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behaviors. Do you agree or disagree.

people believe that it is better to build new museums and town halls instead of renovating the old ones. Are you agree or desagree?