IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do different kinds of jobs. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There are
plethora
Correct article usage
a plethora
show examples
jobs
Change preposition
of jobs
show examples
 all around the world
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 choose different professions in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 their talents.But few
people
Use synonyms
 change their course whenever they feel stressed in their current work. Even though
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 do the race, which they like
after
Punctuation problem
, after
show examples
 a few
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
 they will feel bored and stressed.Sometimes it may cause psychological
problems
Use synonyms
.So it becomes important for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to
conversion
Replace the word
convert
show examples
 their profession for their mental relief.But the person who needs to
deviation
Check wording
deviate from
show examples
 his course
need
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
face
Verb problem
to face
show examples
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
 like interviews,
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
, etc.... So
people
Use synonyms
 can
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
their professions as they wish
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 these psychological
problems
Use synonyms
 in
people
Use synonyms
 can be reduced. But
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
changing
Punctuation problem
, changing
show examples
 the
carer
Use the right word
career
show examples
 is not acceptable because if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 modify their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 as they
wish
Punctuation problem
wish,
show examples
 the company need to face several
problems
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
due to
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
employers
Use the right word
employees
show examples
 so
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 affects the economic growth of the company.In some
cases
Punctuation problem
cases,
show examples
 even though the person was a
genius
Punctuation problem
genius,
show examples
 he may find some problem in getting a new job.So it is suggested that
people
Use synonyms
 need to resign
their
Change preposition
from their
show examples
 profession after completing the arrangements for the new career. In some cases,
people
Use synonyms
 resign
their
Change preposition
from their
show examples
 job to find their new race
due to
Linking Words
 their unlucky they won't get any new task.So they will be left unemployed.But lucky
people
Use synonyms
 will get employment.So
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
 one point of view, it is a good activity, but
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 another point of
view
Punctuation problem
view,
show examples
 it' dangerous.So it is advised for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to love their profession that they do and they should not think
it
Change preposition
of it
show examples
 as a stress.
So
Punctuation problem
So,
show examples
 as discussed
changing
Punctuation problem
, changing
show examples
 the career has both merits and demerits

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structure
Plan your essay with three parts: some view, two sides with why, and a short end that restates your view.
grammar
Use simple, correct words. Check spell and grammar and fix errors like 'plethora' and 'carer'.
coherence
Use linking words to show flow: firstly, on the one hand, however, in addition, finally.
content
Give clear examples and details to back each idea, like how changing job can affect money, time, and learning.
organization
Try one idea per paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and end with a clear thought.
content
The essay shows an attempt to discuss both sides of changing work.
content
The writer notes stress and mental effects, which is relevant to the task.
content
There is some attempt to give examples like interviews and money issues.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career
  • job
  • work
  • change
  • switch
  • learn
  • skill
  • grow
  • new
  • different
  • plan
  • decision
  • choice
  • market
  • demand
  • money
  • salary
  • stability
  • risk
  • time
  • effort
  • future
  • success
  • boredom
  • motivation
  • job satisfaction
  • experience
  • prepare
  • advice
What to do next:
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