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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays there is a growing shift towards the use of cashless transactions. While some people argue in support of a cashless society, claiming that it is beneficial to citizens, others raise concerns about security. Which side of this argument do you, personally, agree with, and why?

#shift #cashless #transactions #people #support #society #citizens #concerns #security #side #argument
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In a globalized world, with the continuous development of technology industries, many countries are gradually coming to a
cashless
Use synonyms
society
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. It is thought that
this
Linking Words
 trend will bring good results to
people
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's life. Other
people
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,
however
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, believe that it will have a negative impact on social security. Personally, I agree with the first view. Some
people
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 argue that the government should not advance to
Use synonyms
cashless
Correct article usage
a cashless
show examples
society
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 because if citizens use electronic
payment
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, there may be leaks of personal information or boundaries between the rich and poor.
However
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, it is a short-sighted look.
Due to
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 the industrialization -
Correct word choice
and
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modernization of the world, if a country wants a foothold, the use of electronic
payment
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become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 more and more essential. Digital transactions
helps
Change the verb form
help
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 the government minimize social evils and the human
society
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 to be more advanced.
In addition
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, illegal transactions typically take place with cash so that there’s no record of the transaction and so that the seller can be certain about getting paid. Take
drug
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the drug
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 trade as an example, these transactions are stealthily carried out in cash.
This
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 trend is a major obstacle for the country's development.
Moreover
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, if
people
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 use electronic
payment
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, they will be more convenient in trading activities. For example, with units selling goods,
services
Correct word choice
and services
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, electronic
payment
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 helps deploy and provide services quickly; assess, categorize and expand customer base through electronic data mining; improve operational efficiency and minimize risks and costs for storage, rotation,
Correct word choice
and
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cash handling.
This
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 tendency will help the country's economy expand and improve.
Therefore
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, it is no doubt that a
cashless
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society
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 not only takes the country away from social evils but it
also
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 helps its nation to improve
diplomatic
Correct pronoun usage
its diplomatic
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 and economic side.
Nevertheless
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, a
cashless
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society
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 is not completely perfect. When the e-commerce
industries
Fix the agreement mistake
industry
show examples
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
, information security becomes more and more dangerous. Today, there have been many identity thefts and privacy
invasion
Fix the agreement mistake
invasions
show examples
 of
people
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 when using electronic
payment
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. Because of
this
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 reason, electronic
payment
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 does not receive the consent of all
people
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 in the world.
However
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,
besides
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 that, the government has been spending a lot of money, implementing many plans to ensure the security and safety of the information technology system in the banking industry;
protect
Correct word choice
and protect
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 customers' legitimate rights and interests.
Thus
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, countries should not only see the good side of digital
payment
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 software but
also
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 the bad ones to overcome. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
cashless
Correct article usage
a cashless
show examples
society
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 has a few problems, these have been improved. In my opinion, if a nation wants to progress and develop, the emergence of
Use synonyms
cashless
Add an article
a cashless
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 is indispensable.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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