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Band 6.5

The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000.

The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000.
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The given line graph illustrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
parcels
Use synonyms
 delivered by
FedEx
Use synonyms
 and
TNT
Use synonyms
 over
a
Change the article
an
show examples
80 year
Add a hyphen
80-year
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 from 1920 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
 , the number of
parcels
Use synonyms
 from
FedEx
Use synonyms
 rose slightly despite violent fluctuations
whereas
Linking Words
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
parcels
Use synonyms
 delivered by
TNT
Use synonyms
 increased dramatically.
In addition
Linking Words
 , at the start of the
Use synonyms
period
Add a comma
,period
show examples
FedEx
Use synonyms
 had more delivered
parcels
Use synonyms
 ,which was replaced by
TNT
Use synonyms
 from 1985 to 2000. First looking
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
parcels
Use synonyms
 by
FedEx
Use synonyms
 in 1920 was approximately 15000
then
Linking Words
 it reach a peak at under 25000 in 1940 .
Afterwards
Add a comma
,Afterwards
show examples
 it declined sharply to the lowest point in the
period
Use synonyms
, but
this
Linking Words
 rose gradually to under 20000 in the final year.
In contrast
Linking Words
 , the trend of
parcels
Use synonyms
 delivered by
TNT
Use synonyms
 increased dramatically throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. In 1920 it was approximately 5000 which increased by about 20000 and reached the number of
FedEx
Use synonyms
 in 1985 but more sharply to reach a peak at about 25000 in 2000.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words parcels, fedex, tnt, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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