IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Many famous sports players advertise sports products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#sports #players #products #outweigh
To begin
 with the bright side of endorsements by sports persons.
Firstly
, players can promote certain products in a better way because they themselves use some of these items in their line of work.
For example
, Kazakh volleyball player Altynbekova Sabina does the advertisement of clothes firm, which she consumes while playing the game. Because of
this
 reason, his endorsement of the product sounds genuine.
Secondly
, players can make money by doing various types of advertisements. In general, advertisement companies give approximately 5-10 million dollars to the players who work for them.
This
 is a great opportunity for them to convert their popularity and brand value into wealth. On the flip side of the coin, there are a handful of nasty consequences of endorsements as well. Primarily,
this
 could take away the players’ focus of the game.
For instance
, Andry Joy was the famous player of
bascetball
a game played on a court by two opposing teams of 5 players; points are scored by throwing the ball through an elevated horizontal hoop
basketball
baseball
 at Olympil Games, but he stopped his profession and begun to work with
clothing line release
Suggestion
the clothing line release
.
Moreover
, his budget fallen down
on
Suggestion
about
 66% after he finished the game as a team.
Submitted by ainuriku on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • endorsement
  • influence
  • credibility
  • reputation
  • globalize
  • brand image
  • penetrate markets
  • role model
  • participation
  • high costs
  • premium pricing
  • overshadow
  • product features
  • consumer trust
  • reputation risk
  • scandal
What to do next:
Look at other essays: