IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT ART IS AN ESSENTIAL SUBJECT AND EVERY CHILD SHOULD LEARN IT IN SCHOOL. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#people #art #child #school
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It is often thought by some that
art
 is an important course and children ought to be taught in institutes.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 statement because
art
 promotes creativity and reduces
stress
.
Firstly
, the creative
ability
 is an essential cognitive skill that painting and drawing can foster. The
ability
 of children to develop
this
 skill will improve when taught
art
 within their institution's curriculum.
This
 will enhance their imagination and reasoning technique which will be useful for them at even in adulthood.
For example
, in South Africa, the National Teachers Association in 2010 enforced the teaching of
art
 to all students from primary
school
 level to secondary
school
 level.
This
 led to immense improvement in their student's general academics because they were able to reason better and improve their problem solving
ability
 in other subjects. Another reason why
art
 is necessary is that it reduces
stress
. Children who had the opportunity to learn an
art
 in
school
 can use it as a means to relieve their
stress
 from everyday life even as an adult. They are able to entertain themselves with
art
such
 as music;
this
 keeps them engaged and act as a means to do something different from their regular academic activity.
For instance
, Tom Jones, a student of Victory High Academy, who took the violin classes in
school
last
 year, informed his teachers that the use of the instrument has helped him, whenever he suffered from anxiety. In conclusion, I agree that
art
 should be an essential subject at learning institutions and every child should be taught because it improve their imaginative
ability
 and relieve
stress
.
Submitted by hollasoju on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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