Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work

Research

reveal

Suggestion

reveals

that compared to previous years, nowadays, people are more likely to live much longer. That

raise

Suggestion

raises

a new

gonvernment's

the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit

government

question: should we increased the retirement age? In my view,

refers to the speaker or writer

disagree for in opinion

First

of all, some countries are facing the

unemployees

not engaged in a gainful occupation

unemployed

. People have already

grantuated

acknowledged as a supposition

granted

guaranteed

roaming around toward the street without proper jobs. Older workers may complete the necessary skills for

work

However

, if

stafe

the territory occupied by one of the constituent administrative districts of a nation

state

employees

works

Suggestion

work

for

long

Suggestion

a long time

time

, the central needs to find more money to their relieving

benefit

Suggestion

benefits

, which

caculated

carefully thought out in advance

calculated

bassically

in essence; at bottom or by one's (or its) very nature

basically

on their experience.

This

problem caused the imbalance in our community or society. Mostly

happended

come to pass

happened

in developing countries.

, older people

whi

the person or persons that; the one that

who

over the age of labour easily have some health problems or become impatient

Suggestion

with

work

. They

're some

Suggestion

sometime create

're sometime create

're sometime creating

're sometime created

'll sometime create

've sometime created

time

create problems in adapting new changes by losing

ethusiasm

a feeling of excitement

enthusiasm

toward their jobs and no longer keeping effectiveness for companies.

On the other hand

, there are some countries have

more older

Suggestion

older

than youth or they're totally stability in populations. In fact, the jobs which required someone who used to

work

for

long

Suggestion

a long time

time

or having experience for years

such

as the designing jobs or art

work

...

are

Suggestion

Are

available for

olders

plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned

others

orders

. Some companies have agency or application for old people. Not only for them to kill

time

, but

also

feeling happier and more useless In conclusion, I disagree with the opinion that increasing the age of requirement

Submitted by tragiangtruong378 on Thu Apr 23 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

233 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some countries focus on health care and education benefits while others on infrastructure and employment. Which do you think would be more beneficial for the population? Give specific details and examples to support your opinion.

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining.Why do you think this is happening?How can this issue be solved?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?