IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

everyone of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#meat #health
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Food
Use synonyms
 has become part and partial for humankind since
they're
Wrong verb form
they were
show examples
 born. Howbeit, some
people
Use synonyms
deem
Verb problem
believe
show examples
 that everyone should consume only vegetarian
food
Use synonyms
 as they
thought
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 that
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of
meat
Use synonyms
 can Cause perilous ailments.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with the large extent and reckon that everybody has their own
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
 to choose the type of
food
Use synonyms
. To integrate with, there are manifold benefits
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 eating
meat
Use synonyms
. The initial argument which supports
meat
Use synonyms
 is that our human body
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 habituated to eating
meat
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 since our ancestors when They hunt
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals and
eat
Wrong verb form
ate
show examples
 their
meat
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. Apart from that,
meat
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 contains high nutritions
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 protein, vitamins and so on, which are very hygienic for
skin
Correct article usage
the skin
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
body
Correct article usage
the body
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, as it Gives strength to the bones.
Whereas
Linking Words
, vegetarian has to eat extra supplements to gain
such
Linking Words
 vitamins. To go hand in hand, it is a bitter truth that we are living in an urban village where the land of agriculture has been decreased.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is very difficult to grow
such
Linking Words
 vegetables And fruits for a large number of
people
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 necessary to eat
meat
Use synonyms
 to maintain a balance
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 chain.
However
Linking Words
, too much consumption of
meat
Use synonyms
 causes detrimental effects, But we can limit the amount of
meat
Use synonyms
 rather than avoid it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who are only in favour of
vegetarian
Replace the word
vegetarianism
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might think
meat
Use synonyms
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 an unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
.
Meat
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perticularly
Correct your spelling
particularly
 red
meat
Use synonyms
 is rich in high fat, so, there are chances of obesity In
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
meat
Use synonyms
 causes blockages in blood vessels so it leads to strokes.
However
Linking Words
, it is said that everything has its own limit, that's why we eat
meat
Use synonyms
 in proper proportion. To synopsize, I pen down
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 saying that it is inappropriate to adopt vegetarianism for all. But
people
Use synonyms
 should neglect
over consumption
Correct your spelling
overconsumption
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
meat
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 set a balance between Vegetables and
meat
Use synonyms
 for a healthy diet.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • chronic diseases
  • balanced diet
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • plant-based diet
  • ethical concerns
  • environmental impact
  • deforestation
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable
  • Vitamin B12
  • processed meat substitutes
  • social and cultural implications
  • mitigate
  • full-time vegetarian
  • plant-based options
  • health benefits
  • commit to vegetarianism
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