SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT PARENTS HAVE THE MOST IMPORTANT ROLE IN A CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT . HOWEVER, OTHERS ARGUE THAT OTHER FACTORS LIKE TV OR FRIENDS HAVE THE MOST SIGNIFICANT INFLUENCE.Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #parents #role #child #development #factors #tv #friends #influence

It's

Suggestion

Its

claim that a

child

's growth is mainly influenced by his/her parents.

However

, some opinions, included myself, believe that other factors

such

and friends have the most enormous impact on a

child

’s development. Whereas the extent of influence is

presented

Suggestion

present

in each particular situation. On the one hand, it can’t be denied the important role of the parents in upbringing and teaching their children because children are always taken care of by the parents who stand by them from a baby to an adult.

As a result

, the children’s

behaviors

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

, character is absolutely affected by imitating their parents.

For example

, when a 3-year-old boy sees his mother is doing housework, he probably follows her and tries to do it as sweeping and cleaning the house. Gradually, if he continues to do that, he will make a habit of doing housework in the future, so that's a good influence from the parents.

On the other hand

, external factors are likely to be a significant play in a

child

's growth, especially

and friends. Many studies have indicated that the children's personalities,

behaviors

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviours

, and thoughts are influenced both positively and negatively by what they come into contact with.

First

, they tend to follow what they say on

and want to become the characters in the movie

such

as heroes, princesses, police, criminals, ...

That is

why nowadays we have some excellent foundations like

Youtube

Suggestion

YouTube

Kids which only has educational and healthy entertaining videos for children.

Second

, similar to

, friends

also

impact on children on both sides because there may be a friend with a good or bad habit. Friends can give mental support and a sense of comfort in the absence of parents. Friends who are in the same generation easily understands and confide to each other, which parents

can not

cannot

. In my opinion, parents are very busy with their work, they can't always be there with their kids so they spend most of their time watching

Suggestion

and playing with friends which make

this

external factor becomes the most important influence in a

child

's development. In conclusion,

besides

parents have the responsibility for a

child

's development, other elements are the greatest impact on the growth of children.

Submitted by nguyenhongmay12345 on Thu Apr 23 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

370 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT PARENTS HAVE THE MOST IMPORTANT ROLE IN A CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT . HOWEVER, OTHERS ARGUE THAT OTHER FACTORS LIKE TV OR FRIENDS HAVE THE MOST SIGNIFICANT INFLUENCE.Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

discuss advantages and disadvantages of on demand streaming services

Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

There is an increasing trend of old people living longer in many countries around the world. Do you think this has a positive or a negative effect on the population as a whole?

The plans below show the layout of the ground floor of a museum in 1990 and in 2010