IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some countries are struggling with the increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #rate #crime #people #police #streets
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
No, doubt in a few countries
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 is hiking as compared to
Linking Words
last decade
Suggestion
last decades
the last decade
. Large number of people hold
this
Linking Words
 notion that every street should have a number of
police
Use synonyms
 as it is the only
way
Use synonyms
 to tackle with
Use synonyms
crime
Suggestion
the crime
. To some extend I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, but there are more ways to reduce the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
crime
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay I will discuss other ways to solve the
crime
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, it is irrefutable that if a street have more
police
Use synonyms
crime
Use synonyms
 will be reduced,
this
Linking Words
 is because of people will afraid from
police
Use synonyms
 and cannot commit
crime
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 rule was introduced in India and the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
crime
Use synonyms
 was reduced about 80%.
Secondly
Linking Words
, criminal will catch easily and will not do
Use synonyms
crime
Suggestion
the crime
 again.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the other
way
Use synonyms
 to decrease the
crime
Use synonyms
 ratio, the state can apply new technologies
such
Linking Words
 as surveillance cameras in the streets, shopping centres, restaurants and all public places to cease criminals.
This
Linking Words
 method is the best
way
Use synonyms
 to reduce the
crime
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, strict punishments on criminals can have really preventive and deterrent effects on all age groups in society
,
Accept space
,
 so by using harsh penalties like imprisonment, physical or financial punishments the
rate
Use synonyms
 of crimes can be decreased. With the help of
this
Linking Words
 method the other criminal will
also
Linking Words
 learn a lesson and will not commit a
crime
Use synonyms
. Overall, though increasing more
poli
Use synonyms
ce tstreets
Suggestion
eet is the
w
Use synonyms
ay red
Suggestion
to reduce
u
ce crim
an engagement fought between two military forces
combat
but
crim
Use synonyms
e, but
Suggestion
but but
but adding cameras and strict laws and punishment are
also
Linking Words
 the best ways to inculcate the
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: