It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development

#proportion #people #countries #future #development

To a certain extent I agree that the ageing population will have

positive influence

Suggestion

a positive influence

on our

society

However

, I

also

think that a large number of senior citizens will have some drawbacks. On the one hand, the benefits of the elderly are of great significance to the

society

. Compared with

younger generation

Suggestion

the younger generation

younger generations

, the older people who are

finically

from a financial point of view

financially

comfortable have a lot of free time and they may find it pleasure in taking part in volunteering works.

For example

, you can find some pensioners deliver food to the poor in the soup kitchen or guide the traffic near the schools when it is the rush hours. Another advantage is that

the older

Suggestion

older

people can protect the traditional values. Generally speaking, the elderly

Suggestion

are

familiar with the traditional culture and moral values of a country and they play a key role in imparting knowledge to the youth, which helps to preserve the

culture

Suggestion

cultural

identity of a country.

On the other hand

, expected life expectancy may bring potential problems to the

society

First

of all, because the ageing of

population

Suggestion

the population

is often accompanied with the low birth rate,

this

means that there will be a shortage in labour numbers. For

instant

Suggestion

an instant

, in Japan, a large number of corporations and small business

are facing

Suggestion

are faced

with the problem that there are no sufficient staff members,

as a result

, the country’s economy is suffering.

Moreover

, a great number of pensioners

also

means that the government has to pay for the increasing cost of healthcare bills and pensions.

Therefore

, the

tax payers

someone who pays taxes

taxpayers

will have to bear a

great

Suggestion

greater

finance

Suggestion

financial

burden and the younger workforce

have

Suggestion

has

to work harder and take care of the elderly at the same time. For the reasons mentioned above, I believed that the ageing

society

will bring both opportunities and challenges to our world.

Thu Apr 23 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development

Fully explain your ideas

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugat, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Recent surveys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reason for this Trend and what will be the possible outcome from this behaviour? Provide example for your opinion.

Some people thick that the government should be responsible for improving public health. Others, however, believe that everyone should take part in this issue.

(VMN-Fixed)Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays more and more people are using smartphones and computers to communicate, so they are losing the ability to communicate with each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?