IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#governments #support #artists #people #waste #money
It is argued that artists were given an enormous amount of assistance by states, while some say that investing in art and culture is a waste of resources. While assisting art and culture industries will help promote and preserve the traditions of nations, I believe that it is more beneficial to spend the enormous amount of funds on science and technology that will assist the authorities economically. On the one hand, rendering assistance to the musicians by governments will help them to keep the artefacts and cultural facts of countries. If there is no support for those who will work in our cultural centres
such
 as, museums and national libraries, workers will not work diligently when they are not being paid.
For example
, the University of Manchester recorded that the UK government spent 3.5 million pounds yearly in order to keep all the museums across Manchester in good condition because they are to be preserved for
next
 generations.
However
, I believe that the states should divert more money away from art to science and technology because it is the bedrock of the society.
On the other hand
, it is thought that the foundation of every society that desires to continue to emerge ought to fund its science-oriented courses rather than wasting huge resources for artists. Science, technology and mathematics are the subjects that any state should put money on because the scientists are the one that brings about new innovations that spur growth and development.
As a result
 of the emerging research, new products
such
 as fast speed trains are developed in a country like China, new generation computers, 5G networks and the jet planes in the United States of America. I believe
this
 school of thought will be more profitable because it will help the government to provide more jobs and basic social amenities for the teeming populace. In conclusion,
although
 taking care of the artists by spending more fund on them will only help us to reserve our old cultural evidences for the younger ones, the scientists should be seen as vital people in the society because they will assist in boosting the economy of nations.
Submitted by felix on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • culture
  • creativity
  • economic growth
  • tourism
  • social development
  • personal development
  • merit
  • financial support
  • balanced
  • transparent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: