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Writing Samples
Band 6

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

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In the globalization era, the internet plays a crucial role in our lives and it can be used to
work
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 at
home
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 without going to the office. Some people think that it is a great innovation
while
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 others disagree.
To begin
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 with, working at a residence provides several merits
such
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 as saving transporting hours and being comfortable for the employee in terms of their place. To explain, a
home
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 does not want to spend time
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to
work
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 so people can use more time to do other tasks.
For instance
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, in my previous job, I had to spend approximately 1 and a half hours commuting,
thus
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 the benefit is saving
this
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 time around 2 hours and I can do other things,
such
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 as have breakfast or exercise.
Moreover
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, we can save energy and it should encourage an employee to enjoy their
work
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 and provide a good outcome for the company.
On the other hand
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, it can bring some backdraws as well. To elaborate, Telecommunication has a lack of social contact that sometimes is limited. Because some countries do not have stability from the internet and
also
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 there is less productivity is another issue that should be taken into consideration.
For instance
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, some countries
such
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 as Africa or Southeast Asia do not have a good quality internet connection they are difficult to handle their occupation, and some families do not have a private room to do their
work
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. It is unable to
work
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 at
home
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 and complicated to control. In conclusion, the pros and cons of working at
home
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 are depicted in
this
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 essay.
Hence
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, it is not encouraged to have a job
work
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 on site, it should balance our life between remote working and traditional one
that is
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 called hybrid.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay follows a clear logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and the supporting sentences should directly relate to this main idea.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include a clear introduction that presents the topic of the essay and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and gives a final thought or opinion.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with supported details and examples. Use specific examples to illustrate the advantages and disadvantages discussed, ensuring they are directly connected to the main points.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. The response must discuss both the advantages and disadvantages evenly, and present a clear position throughout the essay.
task achievement
Work on clarity and depth of ideas. Strengthen the argument with more comprehensive explanations. The response should explore the given topic in detail and avoid vague statements.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant examples that are specific and substantiate the points being made. The examples should effectively demonstrate the advantages and disadvantages of working from home.
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