In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to find part-time jobs. Some think this is a good development while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#countries #teenagers #jobs #think #development

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Majority

Suggestion

The majority

of the people consider that adolescents getting involved

into

Suggestion

part-time works during their off time as a positive growth, because it aids the students to be self sufficient.

However

, others oppose

this

as it may lead

themselves

objective case of they

them

to lose their interest

Suggestion

academics. Even though there are few demerits in

this

regard, I believe part-time jobs

needs

Suggestion

need

to be uplifted as it not only aids them to be less dependant, but

also

makes them familiar with

real world

Suggestion

the real world

. Most of the

nations

Suggestion

nation

nowadays are providing feasibility to their youth to pursue part-time career in parallel with their studies.

This

makes the students to earn their living expenses and

also

gather hands experience which increases their confidence levels.

For instance

, most of the part-timers tend to manage their living

cost including

Accept comma addition

cost, including

tuition fees from their

earnings which

Accept comma addition

earnings, which

in turn reduces the economic burden in their families, particularly low income groups.

Therefore

, students can become self sustained and actively pursue their dreams.

On the other hand

, some of the

opposers

one who estimates officially the worth or value or quality of things

appraisers

posers

consider that getting acquainted to

earning

Suggestion

earn

money at the tender age makes them neglect their studies and provokes them to earn more by

side-tracking

a short stretch of railroad track used to store rolling stock or enable trains on the same line to pass

sidetracking

academics.

This

in turn leads them to drop out of school. Researches say that part-time culture is one

of significant reason for

Suggestion

significant reason for

the rise in high school dropouts.

Hence

, to tackle

this

problem, they believe that there needs to be a restriction on allowing part-time works. In conclusion, students need to be encouraged to do part-time jobs considering their family background.

However

, their parents must ensure that their study curriculum should not be distracted due to their working hours.

Fri Apr 24 2020

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7
Linking words
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0
Word repetition
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13
Grammar mistakes
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to find part-time jobs. Some think this is a good development while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

interest in homeschooling is becoming more widespread around the world. in your opinion, should school be compulsory for all children, or should families be allowed the right to choose to educate their children at home?

The widespread of the Internet gives people more freedom to work and study at home instead of traveling to office and school. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and disccuss your opinion.

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?